Hello! I just read your message. This is why we are here, for you newer widows and widowers. I lost my husband in 2008, found him dead n the bathroom floor. I thought he was playing on the computer so did not check on him like I should have.

I live in Washington State in a nice gated community. There are quite a few single women who live here.

Welcome to Daily Strength!

KK

I have days like this too! I have moments of crying and loneliness, despair and depression. I somehow manage to tell myself that tomorrow will be better, these feelings will pass. I try to be positive and have something to look forward to. I’m taking a trip to Graceland with my sister this summer and I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it! It comes in waves so just hang on, it will get better for all in our group. Hugs

I read this and balled my eyes out, still crying actually. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago tonight at 8:50. I am broken, lost and feel so alone. We have a 10 year old son and I am trying to be strong for him, but I can't be strong anymore. I am wreck. I completely understand not feeling yourself because your husband is gone. How do you go on everything has changed. The first couple of weeks people called to check on me and my son but that has diminished, I am sure they got tired of me saying how much I miss him and just want him back. The loneliness seems to get worse everyday for me. I wake every morning and go through the routine of the day, trying to feel normal, but my normal is gone.
Lostmytruelove, I am so sorry that you are going through this too. Everyone says it will get easier, I hope it really does.

I lost my husband 9/30/15. He suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and lived for 30 days in ICU, for 2 of those weeks he was doing well After heart surgery he kept coding so they sedated him and put him on the vent and he lived another 2 weeks. I didn't expect him to die or maybe I wouldnt let myself accept that it could really happen. He was 59 and we were married almost 30 years. I didn't think I would nor did I want to survive. I kept myself so busy for almost 2 years I was barely home alone and when I was, the waves of grief and pain would bear down on me like a tidal wave. The heaviness in my chest and the loneliness was awful. With time, the physical pain subsided. I joined a group called Soaring Spirits and socialized with other widows and widowers. I became a grandmother on his 1st anniversary, bringing both amazing joy and sadness to that day. But my point is I HAVE survived. Day by day, moment by moment and this site has been and remains a lifesaver. There are so many very good and kind hearted people here who will help you. WE know this journey. Nobody else really understands. I wish you all peace today and hope tomorrow is a little better for you. Marybeth

Hi, Is there a bereavement group in your area.? It may help to try to visit. I'm so sorry for your pain . I remember it well. Please know that you will feel better in time. Grief is hard work. Every one here cares and will listen whenever you having a hard day. I'll keep you in my thoughts and pray for strength and peace. Love and Hugs, Dolores

Take a deep breath. Fasten your seat belt. Check your mirrors, that you have done. You could be coming out of what they call widow's fog. Wired in us to protects us in a period of shock and disbelief. Of course you are sad. Everyone of us either will be, is or has been been exactly where you are. Your life right now is in a void, stolen from you, nothing is worse. But we must keep going. I know my Juanita would want me to be happy, to live life to its fullest, and yes, think of her not with more tears but with that sh*t-eatin' grin I get when I'm relishing yet another wonderful memory. Yeah, Juani would kick my buttinsky for all eternity if I decided to give up. Stick around here. Start reading older posts, educate yourself on what is to come. And you will find that we all eventually adapt to a new life, learn to love ourselves for who we are not the "us" which is all any of us really knew. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour, until your day is done, and then start it all over when tomorrow becomes today. You are lost right now only because you lived in extraordinary love. Your heart is broken. In time, you will heal and find yourself in a new life, whether you want that or not. Scottie

I understand. It's not the same anymore. You will need to make many changes in time to adapt. Please know that we think of you during this period of darkness you are traveling through.

Hello Lost, i just want you to know that all of us have been where you are now. Feeling lost,, lonely and overwhelmingly sad. Of all the "dumb" sayings people will try to console you with, one rings true and it has I gotten me through many desolate nights. just ask yourself, "what would my loved one want for me to do and what would i have wanted for them if the role was reversed?" He would want you to live and to one day find happiness again.. Having said that, it's the hardest thing for us to do after we lose such a love. Just hold on and know that everyone here cares about you and that you can do this.

Hello
I lost my husband a little over 3 years ago. I too felt like you do and sometimes still feel that way. Its a long long journey, with lots of twists and turns. as many here have already said just take it day by day and minute by minute. If today's the day for never ending tears so be it. You are among people who know your feelings of loss and despair. There are so many things that change for us when we lose our loved ones. There's no explanation or right way to do this grief stuff. Hugs to you and we are here for you.

Lisa

Hmmmm. I went about it a little differently. My husband was obsessive compulsive, a military man. His death was premature and a shock to me. However after his death I did things THAT HE NEVER WANTED TO DO. I went ahead and followed my instincts and did stuff that MADE (ME) HAPPY, period.

For one, he did not approve of multiple piercings in a woman's ears. No reason, he just didn't approve! So I quickly proceeded to add one more piercing to each of my ears. I even bought diamonds for the new piercings! Smile.

He never wanted to purchase new furniture, "What we already have is fine!" So, yep, I went out and purchased new furniture! And I enjoyed every minute of it. I wish the "rush" could have lasted longer! Ha, ha.

I wanted to purchase a small home in the town where our health insurance provider had their clinic, to save us a trip through the mountains when either of us became ill. Him: 'Not a good idea, too expensive in the long run". Yes, you guessed right, I bought another home close to our insurance provider. I am doing just fine financially!

My late husband was an amazing man and never allowed me to want for a single thing. He was extremely good to me and I miss him dreadfully. BUT I am trying to give you an idea on how YOU can survive! BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!

Good luck!

KK

Oh, I'm sorry for your pain. Grief is new to you and sorry to say what you are feeling is normal... The constant pain will be part of your life. You will learn to live with it. I'm sorry for your loss, and glad you found us here