People tend to not realize that even though you may be young that you can't imagine the possibility of finding another person that you will connect with on the same level. You are faced with starting all over when you had already found the one who your heart loves. I know my boyfriend was my very best friend and he knew the real me better than even my closest girl friends or my mother who i an very close with. Dan accepted all my flaws and loved me because of them and the little things we did together and the vast amount of inside jokes can and will never be understood or replaced by anyone else. I truly know your struggle and you are not alone.

Welcome. This is the right place to be. None of us wants to be here but we are all together at least. Big hugs to you.

The world makes no sense without them. I don't know if it ever will.

Kevin, I'm sorry to hear your wife's passing. I read your blog - it is like watching episodes of "Misfits". It's on Netflix - you should watch it if you haven't already. You'll get a kick out of it.

You write very well. I should add that not only that our lives fell into a septic tank, but the lid was closed on us. We are left to adjust the smell and swim on top of the yuck just to get a breather once in a while.

I came across some of Dr. Wolfelt's work, and actually liked his writing. I'll also recommend Catherine Tidd. She's a pretty good blogger/writer, from a widow's perspective.

I can really identify with you both, Pete and Darrel. Specifically the feelings that I was not supposed to outlive her. I never even imagined the possibility. I always assumed I would die first, and it was a joke between Mia and I that I would tell her if I died before her, that she wasn't allowed to commit suicide. I made her promise. Because I just knew I would die first. She made me promise the same thing if she died first, but I never took that concept seriously so it was an easy promise. Now I'm in utter disbelief at reality.

jdannysgirl I truly feel like Mia and I knew each other better than anyone else knew either of us. Now, I wish more people had known more about her. I loved her so bad, I wanted her all to myself and now I wish more people had known just how awesome she was. We loved and accepted all each other's flaws.

Thanks for the suggestions, raininseattle, I just added Misfits to my Netflix queue and I'm gonna look into Catherine Tidd. I'm glad you can relate to what I wrote, thank you so much! I totally agree. This shit stinks. Bad. And there's no escape.

I'm so thankful to all of you for letting me share and sharing back your stories. I'm so glad to know that other folks have known love like I did with Mia. I felt so lucky to have found Mia and it seemed so unlikely. I imagine you guys and girls all felt incredibly lucky, too (although, for all of us, the luck seems to've turned drastically).

I feel like I became half a ghost when she died. I still exist in the real world, somehow, but I feel like my connection to it is tenuous. I remember the real world, and it's still there, but I feel displaced from it inexplicably, even as I go about my day.

Thank you all for the support

-Kevin