Marie, dear one........when I hit the one year mark, I was still crying and unable to know who I was in this new situation that I didn't ask for, nor want. And it was so absolutely empty without him. Really that first year for me was mostly sitting on the couch crying. Very Very slowly, over the next few months, I was going a few hours without crying.
TIME.......they say it heals all wounds, NO......but time did eventually slow down the crying.
Huge hugs, Jan

If the number of tears shed was any indication of healing...I would be healed...................am right there with you.................my world too seems empty evevn with all the blessings I have right now.................I try to remember that..............and sometimes it helps...............but much of the time there is a quietness and saddness that has never been a part of me....................I wish you some peace, Marie..............
L

Marie;
I do understand how you are feeling. I hope I find some meaning or purpose for my life. I know it won't be the life I had but here I am so I hope I can put myself to some use. I realize that the best part of my life is in the past with Rob but hopefully I can make the most of what's left. I will always love Rob, he is a part of me. It is so very hard being with him, I still don't get it. It is 5 1/2 months and sobbing this week. Hug, Donna

Marie Goodmorning
Sorry you are having a tough time . My trouble is I do know who I'am and just don't like it much!!
I'am with you on the useleness I just been waiting and waiting to get engaged with life but don't have the drive. My wife was the one that drove me to quote from As you like it " You( she ) made me want to be a better person" Now don't what who or what is going to give that kick in the butt or the tug at my heart .
We will get there just. at first I thought I would sit back and let time do it's job and it is helping a little but now we have to start the hard work with out the motivation.
Others have said a to do list helps but right now for me don't have the drive to make one. I guess my list will be about getting that drive.
Hope you have some better days ahead. Gb dave

add my tears to your ocean. Its been 6 months for me today and it doesn't seem to ease. I keep praying that God will see me through this, I will add you to my prayers, Ellen

The salt in the ocean must come from the tears of those of us who mourn for our beloved spouses. The power of a great wave hitting my chest and taking my breath away is how the sorrow envelopes me at random moments. The suffocating feeling of being underwater too long is how I feel when I reflect on my life right now and my future without him.

Marie please don't feel useless. We all have a purpose in this circle of life. I know how we all feel. Life will never be the same, but we must pick up and go on. I am 18 months into this journey, it has not been easy but it is getting a little better. Tears still come. I probably will be crying forever:) Hugs to all today.

My Dear Marie,
When your down I pray the Lord lifts you and helps you on this journey. Your sorrow is heartbreaking to even those of us in the same sorrow. I can tell you to be strong through these times and yet have a time finding the strength myself. As you read the comments left to you by your DS family you have to know that you are not alone and that there are many of us that care deeply about you. With all the tears that are filling the oceans of sorrow I feel like I am treading water..waiting for the flood to subside.
Be well my friend, take your deep breath and know that for all of us there is a puropse. May God bless you with comfort and peace.
Linda

Thank you all for your kindness and taking the time to keep in touch, your support means alot to me.

Marie, I am so sorry you are going through so much right now and yes at 11 months it still feels like the world will never be okay again. The one year mark is coming and things seemed to get heavier and heavier for me the closer I got to the one year mark.

You are not useless though. I am glad you are coming here and sharing with others who are feeling the same. I have cried an ocean myself, but now I am beginning to cry less. I sometimes go an entire day without crying now and then am so shocked that I actually didn't cry all day.
sending you lots of hugs...
-Diana

Marie, I'm almost at 11 months too. There is not one day that I have not cried. You put the feelings I have been having into words. I just don't have any words of encouragement because I don't know how to make this pain go away either. I miss him more every day. I don't know who I am or where I'm going or if I care.

I'm sorry for us. Hugs,
Kathy