Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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mlm2015 03/25/2015

To the men on this site, please don't think I am directing anything in this against men...please don't take offense.
I am such a ninny about being single. It is like high school with senior citizens running up and down the halls.
I am guessing the statistics are maybe 25 women to every man (maybe more)..I feel like I must be on guard if I even speak to a man who is married or who has someone.
My husband and I trusted each other so much there was never any insecurity about either of us talking to anyone...my neighbor (who always talked to my husband and myself) is single, but now I feel I cannot even talk to him because his (girlfriend) might get upset....me, a threat?...(oh please!!) But he, on the other hand loves any attention he can get from as many women as possible....
At the senior center ...if there is a single man, always a group of women around him, hanging on every word....Oh brother....
Don't these people see the pain we are in? Thinking about getting involved with someone is not even in my scope of thinking....
Is this part of the grief process? Another stage of healing? Can a person act like this if they become soooo lonley?
Or just part of being single? Makes me want to go live in a cave.

ramar 03/26/2015

JUST TO ADD: Had to go to court last week, look at my pic, it's of my camaro with green halos on the headlamps. Totally legal but got a ticket for them. Went to court, OMGosh..dirty cloths, no teeth, coveralls and the guy sat there scratching his big ole' belly. I moved to another isle..Can I say coodies! Only guys worth looking at and then iffy were the lawyers and most were 100 plus with suits from the 70's. mmmm
rural life is different..and I'll be single forever..

dvelasco69 03/26/2015

I was in a bar with my sis and cousin just trying to have a nice time. I started chit chatting with a guy (much younger than me). I am 45, he probably was 30 at most. I am not interested in dating, but it's just nice to socially talk to people. He saw my ring and asked if I was married. I said my husband passed away 3 months ago. He says "You are joking right?" Uh, yeah like I would joke about that. He ran for the hills. Wouldn't make eye contact with me the rest of the night. People can be very strange.

Jacuzzi63 03/26/2015

Oh my! thanks everyone for the giggles this morning...
Thus far I've not had anyone have issues with me being widowed - all my married friends are still friends, none are afraid I'm going to steal their man, (actually, the men are on the lookout for a good boyfriend amongst their friends...no luck yet, LOL). I'm wearing my wedding ring, and Rob's, on my right hand.

The men I've met all had their teeth! (maybe its something to do with our fluoridated water? who knows?) Hair, on the other hand, is 'optional' - in some cases it migrated south, if you know what I mean. But heck, I'm no 'Raquel Welch' myself either.

My problem is meeting someone with equal intelligence and education - the chaps I've met off websites all seemed intimidated by how smart I am, and how strong and resilient.

So, unless a Prince Charming comes riding up, I think I'll just focus on friendships.

On the plus side - at least I don't have to shave my legs everyday! LOL.

jeanatds 03/26/2015

I've had some one off type situations. It's so hard to wear single when you've been married a few decades. A funny time once was my girlfriend couldn't meet me at a wedding last minute, so she sent her husband! We got teased about who would be my date for the next event. He has hair and teeth....

Rainbow27 03/26/2015

What a hoot !!! I am a senior, but don't live in a senior community and have not witnessed the "casserole brigade." Thank goodness.
After a year, people are beginning to ask me if I am going to date. I make light of it.
Thanks for all the chuckles today...

Shrn 03/26/2015

I'm enjoying the banter, but on a serious note, some people see themselves as part of a team and seek that in their life. It's okay, if that's what they need. We all struggle with the loneliness after a marriage and the loss of plans. How we deal with those emotions is very personal and a private decision. I don't think they see themselves as senior citizens running up and down the halls of a school.

I am able to laugh at the picture you paint, but I have been dealing with my loss for a long time. My concern is for those who are not in this place yet. Why not give love a chance? Sharon

BrokenGeo 03/26/2015

I know this post is supposed to be humorous and I know this is going to get me in trouble but I'm in a piss poor mood today. I've seen this same topic discussed in a similar manner on other sites. I know vanity can get the best of the best people at times. Maybe we should all step in front of a full length mirror and take a hard look and see if we still look like that 20 year old that we used to be. For those of you that see any semblance, I humbly bow down before you.
I'm Canadian so I'll apologize right now for having offended anyone, but damn this felt good.

Geo., Toothless, hairless and almost blind (good thing the blind part)

praised 03/28/2015

One of the senior centers I go to have a lot of men because they have a pool table and some even bring their pool sticks. When I walk through the door, I speak and look straight ahead. Two of them have wanted to converse, I am not interested. It has been 20 months and when I look at them, my husband still tops the list, and he is in Heaven. It is too much work trying to learn another man at this stage in my life. It is harder for men to be alone. My first cousin's wife passed away six months after my husband. They had been together 48 years. I noticed him following a lady as we finished senior lunch.

sandeestttn 03/29/2015

Seems like men are more satisfied in their looks, anyway they are. Women are more judgmental. I went to my great granddaughters birthday party. My x-grandson-in-law was there. He is 30. There he was, gut hanging over his pants, tea shirt that didn't go.over his huge stomach. So, at Chucky Cheese, He struts up to this very pretty slim girl. (waitress) Big grin on his face, gets right up in her face, hands her a $5.00 with his phone number on it, and says call me. LOL... Like he was a big catch.....She looked at me with shock and embarrassment all over her face. Blushed, then avoided that section. I noticed a guy took over that section. It was so funny....lol

lrs55 03/29/2015

This whole aspect of being single is quite annoying. I have looked on some of the dating sites for older people and these 60 year old men are still wanting someone who is trim, fit, sexy, easy on the eyes, etc. etc. I can't believe that I would still be judged on the same set of criteria that I was when I was 16. If that is the case, I will stay alone since I am none of the above! I am a 60 year old grandmother and happy to look the part!

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