Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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thema 03/31/2018

I lost my husband on12/26/2017. We were married 25 yrs., he was the love of my life. He passed away suddenly of cardiac arrest. I feel so lost and can't wrap my head around the fact that he is gone. We have two children a son 22 in the navy and a daughter 21 who is mentally challenged and will be with me until I can no longer care for her.

I also lost my mother on 01/02/2018. She had been my rock my whole life. I could and did go to her for advice on everything that troubled me.

Two such losses back to back have me reeling, I go to a grief group, see a phsyco-therapist, and have support of friends and family. I am just reaching out because this is the most difficult time of my life and I know I need all the support I can get. Please respond with hugs, advice, or good feedback. Thank you-Robin

Jaxmate 03/31/2018

Thema, I'm so sorry that you're carrying the burden of multiple losses. My heart goes out to you.
I joined just last month and since then the understanding and advice I've received from the members of this group has steadied me through my hardest times.
I'm glad that you found us and I know that you too will be able to find the support you seek and that your insights will help others here as well.
There's strength that comes from knowing that we're not alone.
Welcome and warms hugs.

roxanne809 03/31/2018

Robin, my heart goes out to you. I have lost my three siblings since my husband's passing, and I can identify with how you are feeling. I am glad that you have found a grief group, have other support from family and friends, and see a therapist. Nothing else that I can suggest to help you. Grief is so difficult and different for everyone. I am glad that you found this group. Post when needed or just read. As Jaxmate said, you will find strength in knowing you are not alone. Hugs to you, Roxanne

regwin 03/31/2018

Hi Robin, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and your Mom almost all at once. That is just the way I lost my husband right at Thanksgiving time , then my sister a month later on the day after Christmas. It was so devastating. Somehow with the passing of time I recovered. A bereavement group helped tremendously and it will help you also. You will make new widowed friends and you will lean on each other. Visit here often. There is a wonderful group of people who will listen. Know that they truly care. Hugs from Dolores

Rockymountainmama 03/31/2018

I am so sorry. :hugs: My husband died in an accident a little over two years ago.

My oldest son from a previous relationship is 21. His dad passed away when he was 16.

If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out.

:hugs:

Kristen

raininseattle 03/31/2018

I'm sorry, Robin, for the multiple and devastating losses.
I'll leave a link for your reading.
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/04/in-grief-coping-with-multiple-losses.html

"You don't think you'll live past it, and you don't really. The person you were is gone, but the half of you that's still alive wakes up one day and takes over again." ~ Barbara Kingsolver

nightlady 04/02/2018

Sending love & hugs to you.

suddenlysingle 04/02/2018

Thema, I'm so sorry for your loss, it's bad enough to lose your husband of many years, like I lost my boyfriend to a massive heart attack. And then your Mom, that's horrible. I can't imagine that. I'm glad you at least have the support you have right now and the support of this nice group. I am sending you lots of hugs!! Please just take one day at a time to get through this very difficult time!! Blessings!!

suddenlysingle 04/02/2018

I've been wanting to join this nice group since my boyfriend passed away, but had email trouble and wasn't able to join. But everyone seems so nice and gives so much support!! God bless!!

lmj90 04/02/2018

Robin

Im so sorry for your multiple loss. I too lost my husband suddenly to "sudden cardiac death". Its horrible. Losing your mother also..... I have not went through that yet but have lost my father to suicide so I can some what relate. Either way we are all here for you so please reach out. If for nothing but a listening ear, to make a friend in the club we all didn't sign up for or to read others experiences. this is a good place to be. We all understand on some level or another. You are not alone. Hugs

Lisa

cupolatte 04/02/2018

Hi Robin, I certainly do send you hugs. What a time you must be having! I sympathize. There really aren't words to describe the hurt you are experiencing. My dad died from a long illness two weeks before I lost my husband to a work accident. Because of this, I know how to pray for you. I am asking God to be your rock and your strength through this. God bless you and your family.

thema 04/07/2018

Thank you all for your support. I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since I lost my husband, we use to spoon/cuddle every night for 25 yrs. Someone suggested getting a body pillow. Maybe when my son comes home on leave from the navy I will try. I have panic attacks, 2 sent me to the hospital. I'm on medication now which helps, but I am still afraid. I have a daughter living with me with a mental and physical disability. She is my angel, she is happy everyday (I am blessed), she is also very independent so is not a hardship on me really. I just have to help her with a few activities. All in all I pray a lot because I feel God has helped me get this far and will not carry me through.
Please stay in touch, your words are so helpful. God bless.-Robin

thema 04/07/2018

I meant to say God WILL carry me through (sorry for the typo, Smile-R

scottito 04/08/2018

It took me a while, but I found it more comfortable just to move into our little spare bedroom and sleep on a little futon bed. I haven't thought about this before, but I got a puppy about a year and a half ago (Blue). Seems to me that Blue is serving the same function a body pillow would, except Blue likes to lick my bald head, ears and underarms :) Gee, not even my Juanita would do that !!! Seriously, just having Blue's head laying on top of my feet or her body against my leg has been a big help for my sleep. We gotta eat, and we gotta sleep. I think someone said it is called taking care of ourselves. Turns out they were right !!!! Hang in there. Time heals us. Scott

thema 04/08/2018

Thanks Scott I bet Blue is adorable. I have 2 cats that wait til I sit down to keep me company and 1 sleeps on me all the time, if I get up to go to the bathroom she waits til I lay down and is back on me. I guess they really have a sixth sense because they never did that when my husband was alive..LOL

thema 04/08/2018

I would also thank everyone for their feedback, I appreciate it just knowing I'm not alone and the

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