Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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LovingFather2017 07/02/2017

This is my first time on here, I have never been much on this sort of thing. I'm hurting though I figured I would give this a try. My wife passed on 06/15/2017 from stomach cancer. Many people are " there" for me but no one really gets it. How bad the pain is and not having her home at night to talk, share and cuddle with. Anything in life I could deal with because I knew I had her, but now she is not here. As time is going on the pain is getting worse. The most challenging thing I have ever faced and I don't have her by my side to help me through it. If a person could dehydrate from crying I think I would have dehydrated today. Everyone keeps telling me how strong and brave I am but they just honestly don't understand. If I could change it I would. Bravery is when I fireman runs into a burning building to save someone. He ran in because he chose to run in therefore he is brave. If I had choice I would have her back right now, I wish I could wake up and everything be normal again.

Ellebelle 07/02/2017

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you be been forced onto this painful journey. I lost the love of my life almost 7 months ago to an aeortic anyrism. I can identify with the bucket loads of tears. I miss him so much and just want him to come home. I miss his fuzzy chest to lay on and the way he made.me feel when he looked at me. It has helped me to read and write here where people do understand. Billy's birthday was yesterday. He would have been 51. I cherish the love we shared and every memories I have. Blessings to your heart and I'm glad your here. Hoping for any moments of peace and joy to find their way to you.

Lininsocal 07/03/2017

I am so sorry for your loss, I understand the want of being normal again as going through loss and grief eliminates anything normal from your life. People think because you aren't balled up on the floor somewhere and you manage to function in life that you are strong and brave. I remember walking through a store looking at the faces of people thinking "don't you all see the agony in my eyes, don't you feel the sadness that permeates from my very soul, don't you see my broken heart.? as I knew it must show, still I got pats on the back for how well I was doing, what a strong lady I was...I was freaking dying inside,,,I found this group and they collectively saved me. The support, compassion, understanding and comfort I received here helped me to heal. My condolences Loving Father, I pray you find the comfort here in the many responses and show of concern you will find here. May God bless you and help heal your heart.

Mamza 07/03/2017

With grief gripping your heart, the longing to have your love back. The wanting nomalcy back, the loneliness and sheer agony, let alone the crying. We all here understand as we were thrust onto this journey and i am with you in saying that if we had a choice, this would not be it. My prayers are with you loving father. Come here often and read other posts also. This will not take your pain away, but it helps to share with people on the same journey as they really "get it". So sorry for your loss.

3pugs2luv 07/03/2017

Hello, my husband passed away May 21st, 2017. I am coming out of numbness and it hurts. He was just 50. He had been ill some time and I was exhausted by the end. I think the first few weeks I slept and I rested out of exhaustion and then there was all the paperwork and the memorial and a million visitors. Now it's hitting me so hard. My best friend is gone. How the hell do I go on? Our children are grown and are trying to take care of their mom but all live out of town. I'm home with our pugs who adored him. They were his minions and followed him around everywhere he went. They looked for him for weeks,now they too seem to know. Everyone says "how strong" I am, how "gracious" in dealing with this. Maybe my outside is, but my inside is so afraid, so lost. Hugs to you loving father. I am so sorry anybody else has to go through this. This is my first post.

Missmyanne 07/03/2017

We were delt the hand we were delt. I'm approaching the one year anniversary (I hate that word in this context. It sounds like a celebration.) of my wife's death. But it is what it is. They did not choose to leave us. They were taken from us. What would they want us to do? Each and every one of us has a different answer to that question. Myself....I'm just trying to carry on as I'd hope she would want me to. It hurts waking every day without her. You are correct....We are not brave...We didn't ask for this. It was thrust upon us. We must make the best of it till our turn comes when we can be with our loves again. JMO

jdp 07/04/2017

It's one moment, one step, one hour, one day @ a time
We can't figure it out
We are left
They are gone
So...
Regrouping, challenges, coping

Loneliness, I walk outdoors now, in the mall during the winter
Finding ways to fill our days: drives, eating out, gardening
Do you have any hobbies?

No one knows our pain, our loneliness, our loss until they experience what has happened to each of us. We are here for each other, we understand, we are here with you & for you.
Blessings
jdp

myhusbandisanangel 07/07/2017

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs

ladybjt 07/07/2017

Please know caring thoughts and support are just a keystroke away. None of want to be here that's for sure. I am fairly new to this whole thing so I really don't have any profound words of wisdom as I still have days I cry buckets. He's been gone since the end of April 2017 and today would have been his 63rd birthday. Hugs! Betty

shelda 07/19/2017

This new life sometimes is so unbearable. .I miss Everything about him. .I go to places he and I used to go to..I want him back. Am not understanding what life is about I watch things and just go to bed..again and again wake up go to work..sleep..my adult children bother with each other..they think I need to find a new life. Which is..without him life is so lonely but we may as well pretend to care..until I can be with him again

SandyZal 07/19/2017

There is NOTHING good about this. I could not go back to my house where we lived together. Too many memories. I am trying to start a new life in a different town closer to family. It is still difficult. They love me but they don't seem to understand the loneliness, the hours and hours of tears you shed, the feelings of helplessness and dispare, and just missing your soul mate and best friend knowing you will never get them back. I am four months into this and I am starting to feel better but it will never be the same. My fairy tale life that I had with my husband is over. I must pick up and go on the best I can, but at this time I feel I will ever have it a good as I did with the love of my life.

Jayce 07/21/2017

There's One I have in mind
That knows you more than me
The Master of design
Of all eternity
He knew before His Word
Called forth this space and time
That I'd find you on His earth
I'd be yours and you'd be mine
It cannot be denied
That He made you for me
With arms we opened wide
And held each others needs
As every year had passed
And every day was done
We knew our love would last
As two hearts beat as one
No one in this life
Loved you more than I
Dear God I miss my wife
Wipe these tears from my eyes
Mend this shattered heart
Restore this broken soul
Please hold me in Your arms
I feel so all alone
In this house without her
No easy way to sleep
At night I think about her
I tremble and I weep
When will I find the peace
That takes away this hell
When will I know I'm me
And return to be myself?

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