Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today a friend came by to say hi.
He was a co worker of my husbands and I knew him also. We had many friends together prior to even getting together...
This friend was also a wildlife biologist and my husband was his boss,
he said through all my tears and fears to start looking at the world for the both of us.
He noticed I put up the hummingbird feeder and one came -
our bird feeder is seen through out window (my husband could id birds and their sounds so easily, he loved butterflies, and wildlife)
He said when I see the elk in my yard look at them for both of us,
notice the different birds and look at them for both of us,
pray to the stars, and howl at the moon for him too,
ride my horse for him also, remember all the things that we did together that were joyful and fun for us --- NOW do them for both of us,
sing for us both, dance for us both, remember for as long as you live all of the things on this earth that made your life happy. Do not look at it you are doing it alone think of doing whatever for the both of you.
Live as well as he would want you to live. Practice thinking of it that way.
Thought provoking - I think I will try real hard....
He was a co worker of my husbands and I knew him also. We had many friends together prior to even getting together...
This friend was also a wildlife biologist and my husband was his boss,
he said through all my tears and fears to start looking at the world for the both of us.
He noticed I put up the hummingbird feeder and one came -
our bird feeder is seen through out window (my husband could id birds and their sounds so easily, he loved butterflies, and wildlife)
He said when I see the elk in my yard look at them for both of us,
notice the different birds and look at them for both of us,
pray to the stars, and howl at the moon for him too,
ride my horse for him also, remember all the things that we did together that were joyful and fun for us --- NOW do them for both of us,
sing for us both, dance for us both, remember for as long as you live all of the things on this earth that made your life happy. Do not look at it you are doing it alone think of doing whatever for the both of you.
Live as well as he would want you to live. Practice thinking of it that way.
Thought provoking - I think I will try real hard....
Lininsocal
Maintaining the Hummingbird feeded was my husband's thing. He loved his Hummingbirds and would have had them all named except they were too fast for him. In the morning they would drink and bathe in the small fountian and they would guard the feeder. There has been a lot of flowers blooming right now that they have been paying attention to but today I saw my first at the feeder. Seeing them always makes me think of my husband. I do pratice living like he'd want me to and am starting to suceed more often...
deleted_user
Mike and I also loved nature. He was interested in birds and always got out the bird manual whenever we moved to a new area with the Air Force. Now I feel the need to teach my grandson what I know, and just the other day, he heard tapping outside and asked me what it was. We went out on the deck and it was a woodpecker, but I didn't know what kind. I remembered Mike's book and we found it together. So bittersweet.
deleted_user
that is beautiful thank you for sharing....i always hope he is with me a lot....and i have to start doing things for us too...
deleted_user
When I started to write how beautiful the idea of" looking at things for both of us" was I felt a pain in my heart and started crying. As you say it is worth thinking about. In my mind I frequently imagine us together in paradise....but him coming back to see the world with me is a different slant....and I think a beneficial one.
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