Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This is agony!!! Mood
Monday, May 25, 2015 | A Painful story
My husband of nearly 40 years passed away April 23rd. I am totally lost without him. He was diabetic and fought a hard battle. For weeks and months and years. He retired on disabiltiy/social security and we did have maybe a year to year and a half to actually enjoy each other before the dr appointments began to pile up. In 2012 we made 22 trips 150 miles away to the va. 2013 we started in home paritineal dialysis. But this last October he had a sore on his foot that wouldn't heal. October to March he had 37 appointments and six trips 150 miles away. Spent last Christmas at that hospital for 13 days. Then to a nursing home for 21 days and then numerous trips 3 times a week for wound vac care. One toe and partial foot surgery, then two toes and more foot, then the last three toes and infection. And finally amputation of his leg below the knee. We brought him home then with home health care, but it was too painful for occupational therapy and physical therapy. So then we called in hospice. Til the very last week I still felt he would rally, he always had. But not this time. I don't know how to function. I can't wash the bed sheets they smell like him. I can't look anywhere in the house without seeing him. I can't go anywhere that we or he had frequented. Just too painful. Love attending my grand daughters activities, but he is not here to share. All I do is cry and want to sleep. The house and yard are a wreck and I am a wreck. Don't know where to turn or what to do. Nothing is getting better, in fact at times it's worse cause I miss him more and more each day. I don't know how to live without him!
Monday, May 25, 2015 | A Painful story
My husband of nearly 40 years passed away April 23rd. I am totally lost without him. He was diabetic and fought a hard battle. For weeks and months and years. He retired on disabiltiy/social security and we did have maybe a year to year and a half to actually enjoy each other before the dr appointments began to pile up. In 2012 we made 22 trips 150 miles away to the va. 2013 we started in home paritineal dialysis. But this last October he had a sore on his foot that wouldn't heal. October to March he had 37 appointments and six trips 150 miles away. Spent last Christmas at that hospital for 13 days. Then to a nursing home for 21 days and then numerous trips 3 times a week for wound vac care. One toe and partial foot surgery, then two toes and more foot, then the last three toes and infection. And finally amputation of his leg below the knee. We brought him home then with home health care, but it was too painful for occupational therapy and physical therapy. So then we called in hospice. Til the very last week I still felt he would rally, he always had. But not this time. I don't know how to function. I can't wash the bed sheets they smell like him. I can't look anywhere in the house without seeing him. I can't go anywhere that we or he had frequented. Just too painful. Love attending my grand daughters activities, but he is not here to share. All I do is cry and want to sleep. The house and yard are a wreck and I am a wreck. Don't know where to turn or what to do. Nothing is getting better, in fact at times it's worse cause I miss him more and more each day. I don't know how to live without him!
We have all been where you are right now. I still have not moved my husbands things and it passed in jan. You just try to get thru each painful day as best you can.....let the tears flow, as if you could stop them, I know I can't.
This is the most painful journey I have ever faced, I miss him so much it physically hurts at times. There will come a point where you will have a couple of good days mixed in with the bad, thank goodness.
Everyone here is very loving and compassionate and have traveled this same road.
Hugs to you
Jen
I lost my husband of 40 years almost 8 years ago. I remain here to give you hope that you can survive. Sharon
I look for my man every day. He passed two years ago and I still look for him.....Oh, how I would scream with joy if he'd walk in the door or call me at work. Just to hear his voice.....just once more......
I sleep with his favorite shirt because it smells just like him. I talk to him every day, every single day!!!!
It seems that life can't go on.....people can't be laughing and loving without him in the world?......But, life DOES go on and you MUST go on for both of you. "When one of us is gone, one will be left to carry on" and it's YOU!
We ALL share your pain and totally understand what you're going through.
Take deep, deep breaths each day and keep moving forward......
With gentle love,
Roz
I have & do feel everything you are going through. He made me a stronger person & I hold on to that. I have pictures of us on the refrigerator that I talk to everyday. Your emotions will be up & down and that's okay,
Someone posted this.... so true It's odd what our life becomes once death enters .
I also read this daily...."Grief never ends, but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of Faith. It is the Price of Love."
We are all here for each other ....
Becca