I still have days like that and I'm 15 months into this nightmare. Those are the days when you need to slow down and remind yourself to focus.

You will have your days, i am six months into losing my husband, i am not sure of your situation, but ours was a lengthy battle and we did see the outcome was not going to be good, so i think that is why i am taking it pretty well for the most part and people have commented on that regards to my outcome. I still have my dingbat days, pretty much daily, work was a distraction and i was able to concentrate but lately that is not even happening, but then i want to believe that its because i am preparing the house for sale and i will be moving and i am doing this with no help, friends and family tend to go on with their own lives. But then i just sit on the bed and cry and then feel better and move on. Guess there is nothing set in stone of when and how long.

I am like this, too! Constantly trying to focus! I'm glad that I am not the only one! (((Hugs)))

I bought a cross stitch that I can't concentrate on right now, so I read books and pray for more clear moments. its only been a month and a half since I lost my husband of 42 years

Hi,first allow me to say that I'm very sorry for your lost☹️
I'm five months into this new norm,I find it's easy for me to cope with my husbands sudden death is to continue to do the things that I know he belived in and expected of myself and our children,he and I were married for 29 years.I must admit that it hasn't been easy by far,I feel a lot better doing nothing but allowing myself to be consumed by the fog of the pass life I shared with my husband.I find that I can't go forward in the fog...nor does it help me to deal with real issues that only me can handle for our family,Everyone's depending for one thing or another...I've had my moments,might I add,a lot of them daily but then I feel like my husbands spirit is telling me to take care of myself and our responsibilities because he's not here to help me and he would be here doing the things he's always done for our family...so knowing him for 29 years,I knew what he was thinking before he allowed the words out his mouth,that's why I know he wouldn't want me to stay in the widows fog and not face the issues of everyday life,I hope I'm not offending anyone,this is just what get me through the day.My husband has been the love of my life and my best friend and I couldn't have given our children a better father,..sorry for the length of this reply,
May God Bless and Keep us

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm almost at my one year mark. When I went to camp widow, I took a class for grieving and the first thing the presenter asked was "How many of you feel like you have Alzheimer's "? Over 100 people in class raised their hand and she said it was all normal. Stay positive and you will get through it. I'm so glad I went to camp it helped me tremendously. I miss him so much, he was the love of my life and my best friend.

It's mental exhaustion made worse by being physically drained - and that's partly from being literally drained - dehydrated from crying a lot. The first year is the worst, but you can battle it somewhat by drinking extra water to prevent the dehydration and also by adding a multivitamin with minerals to your diet. The brain is dependent on what's in your bloodstream. Stress wipes out the nutrients your brain needs - like calcium, and B vitamins, etc. If you take care of your physical self, you will have a better time of it mentally and emotionally.

Try to eat at least one decent, balanced meal a day. Try to get some sleep. Most of us had/have sleep problems and that adds to the difficulty. Something as simple as a glass of warm milk at bedtime or a cup of chamomile tea can help. I found the vitamins and calcium helped the quality of my sleep. If I really couldn't sleep, a half a Benadryl (I took the kids version which is half the adult dose) would help me sleep without making me too groggy in the morning. You can get the generic version and it works just as well - it's Diphenhydramine. It's what they put in the over-the-counter sleep stuff (Nytol, Sominex, etc.).

I drove to the cemetery with the handbrake on and couldn't undestand what that burning smell was. Then there was the infamous olive oil episode: I bought two bottles in buy-one-get-one-free special. Then I did it again. And again. When I realized I bought 6 bottles of olive oil, I knew I had to do something, as I was scaring my kids because I was so out of it. I started getting serious about things like grocery lists, and the kids started helping with that. I put notes on my calendar to remind me to pay the bills, and other things.

My favorite "Widda Brain" story here was one lady who put a pizza in the oven for dinner, and only realized too late she had put it in UPSIDE-DOWN - ewwwwh - cheese and gooeyness all over the oven. We've all had our moments....

Hang in there.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I've been all over the place too. Tonight will be two weeks since my husband passed away - we've been together 24/7 for the past 42 years and I just don't know how to live without him. I thought I was doing okay but the last two days hit me like there's no tomorrow, I feel so sad and so darn empty.

France

I've done so many air head moves. I'm at almost 14 months. They say it gets easier. I'm not seeing it.

Martha, speaking of pizza upside down, I had a similar but less eventful story. Sometimes I make grilled cheese sandwich at work - two pieces of bread sandwiched with two cheeses put into the microwave oven covered with paper plates top and bottom. Sure enough when I stuffed the sandwich in the microwave, I had the two cheeses on top of two slices of bread and right underneath the paper plate. Ugh.

But back to the fog. A large part of the memory/ attention to details came back after six months, and more after a year. It depends on how emotionally drained on a given day. Some of it came back very very slowly.

After five months I still have it. I am getting better but I feel like I have Altziemers many days.

Thanks for all the replies, good stories, and good advice! :-) I don't want to say I'm happy that anyone is pulling bonehead moves like me, but it does make me feel a little less like I'm losing my mind. I do think being emotionally drained has a lot to do with it and I am starting to take better care of myself and get back to my healthy eating habits. More salads and less White Castles. I feel like a lot of times I'm just going through the motions of whatever task or thing I'm doing, like I'm not really there. I don't like feeling like that way, but I guess I just have to ride it out and hope it will get better as my state of mind gets better. Thanks again to all. As always, you all are great help and great support! And, oh yeah! I did get that load of towels out of the dryer today! <3 Anita

Sometimes when knowing I'm getting forgetful, being organized helps. Using your example, I would have put the trash at the door after tying them. I would stop and think about if I'm missing something before walking out the door. Ask the W's, and sometimes to tell myself to stop playing the tape over and over in my head. I can't concentrate on anything when I was in that mode. Having that self-talk is important.

This is probably more than what you ask for, but I need to do a brain-dump, and someone else may like it. You never know.

rainseattle, that's great advice! If I can stop the tape from running over and over I'm going to try my best to take it. Stop, look around, ask myself if I've forgotten anything. The thing about the trash is that I literally took it out of the garbage can, tied it up, sat it down, turned around and grabbed my purse and bag, and promptly walked out the door without it. You are right though! Had I taken the three extra steps to put it in front of the door I never would've forgotten it. It still just seems so stupid to me, but the tape analogy is perfect! That's exactly what it's like. I feel like an actor on some weird movie set, like I'm playing the part of "Anita" in "Anita's Day to Day Life" and it's not really me. Does that sound nuts? At least Truman believed his TV life was real. I feel like my real life is The Truman Show half the time. I guess I need to give myself a break, but I just don't like this New Normal much. I suspect that few of us do. Hopefully, it will get better in time. <3 Anita

My dad just passed away on March 17. My mom is 70 and is going through every thing in every post I've read here. She lives 2 hrs from me and is not ready to venture away from home yet, which I understand.

She barely eats and watches Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Big Valley and Fox News all day long. She has a couple of friends that check in occasionally but that's it. Our entire family is 2 hrs away.

I'm not sure what to do. I have been taking a day or 2 a week to go stay with her but I have to work and have a family and home to take care of. I have room for her with us.

I hate leaving her alone. She seems to be fading away. If any of you can offer advice, I'm wide open for ideas on how to handle this.