Hi Russ-You don't say how long it's been since your wife died but I assume not long. I am at 4 years and it took a long time for me to accept my husband's death. Take it day by day and as the time goes by you will accept her death. By the way you live in my area-I am a little farther north than Milwaukee-West Bend. Please be kind to yourself. Chris

Like you I can't. I can only hope to see her in my dreams. And I do, almost every night.

Sounds like you're newly out & still in shock ~
Just being w/your grief to discharge pain & tears is healing ~
Tears release toxins from your body ~
Releasing pain & suffering keeps it from depositing in other areas that can effect you later on ~
I know it sucks, but believe me, it is good for you ~

For myself, I chose as my coping skills to renew my faith & beliefs in the afterlife & reincarnation ~
I studied my books day & night searching for the answers to my questions ~
When all the answers/information began to resonate, I began to perceive everything differently - almost like having a new pair of eyes & felt so much lighter~
It was like breathing fresh clean crisp air - ahhhhhh ~
I've read several times people who have a strong faith heal better & faster than those who do not ~
I believe it's true, a person just has to want it & work at it ~

Everyone has their own way of dealing w/their grief ~
This was how I healed my grief ~

*** Wishing you many moments of relief ***

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Can you survive a ninja attack? It will come without warning. It will be silent & ruthless. If you want to survive an attack, you must start by believing that survival is possible. ~ Ninja Survival Guide ~

I believe in the afterlife. I have since I first met my husband. We are not bodies with souls, we are souls with bodies. You will be with your wife again. You both will have different bodies, according to the Bible. Praying for you.

mel, will we know and recognize each other?

Russ - I cannot "accept" that my husband is gone because for me, the word acceptance implies that I feel that it's ok. I have come to realize over the past two years (it will be two years on June 7th) that I cannot change it, but I can learn to live with it. I'm still getting there; it's a long road but I've taken it one day at a time - often one step at a time.

Please don't be overly hard on yourself. Move through your grief at your own pace - breath, yell, cry, feel. Your heart will know what to do. Trust it.

Loosing a spouse is one of the most painful, difficult moments in one's life, in my opinion. It has been 4 years for me as well, this past Monday. Acceptance does not mean that we have to like what has happened, nor that we agree with it. It is what it is. Walking through the death of a spouse is not easy. I take it one day at a time, and with each one, gain some strength. I started going to the gym from the beginning before going to work, and that has helped me a great deal.

Much strength and peace to you. LP

I too do not want to accept what has happened, but there is nothing I can do to alter where I am now in this life, without my wife physically by my side. There was nothing I could do to alter what was happening to my wife during her battle with cancer. As my wife was approaching her end of life I was grieving then, crying, angry that I could not do anything, I did my best to help my wife, did my best to talk about the way I was feeling with my wife, did my best in letting my relatives know about all the hell the step children had put us through, did my best in every possible way. But it was not enough. I cry everyday, missing my wife, angry at people for not giving the support they promised, angry for all the division the kids tried to cause between us. There are so many things in me, and acceptance is not one of them.

I find the concept of "acceptance" too intangible...so what works better for me is "adjustment". This is what I can manage in small steps...a process...not a milestone of right here is "acceptance".

It will be 3 yrs for me on Sunday. I have learned to "embrace the sacred ache............it is proof of my longing to go home." As a Christian, I expect to be re-united with my husband when I die.. Believing I will see Bill again energizes me and keeps me going. Hope is a wonderful thing.
I used to hate how quickly time went flying by........... but now it's comforting to me. I'm heading toward a great reunion :)

acceptance ... even though i miss her, hate where i am without my wife, i do accept her passing. she is in a better place and will not suffer. she want's for me to move forward, and maybe one day i can,for today i just love and miss her and cherish every memory as i slowly move forward - one day at a time ...

I don't have any religious beliefs, acceptance simply came with time. Lot of it.

At 13 months, I can say the word but not feel it. He was so much a part of me. It may not be until I find a way to live, Really Live, without him. Right now I am only living by way of the heartbeat that refuses to stop, the brain that refuses to shut down. So tiny steps , finally picked up my sketch book, I found it comforting that my hands still knew how. New batteries in the camera...still waiting to get out and use them. Reading a book, now over 2 weeks, before it would have been done the next day.......small steps

Accepting is a hard one...I just keep remembering what my husband had to go through and know he isn't suffering anymore...

On one hand I had to accept the fact that my husband was gone and I had to bring him home from overseas with the help of his employer. On the other hand, he didn't look like the same person I loved when he finally arrived home after his death almost a month later. I sensed myself rejecting this body, that is not him. I went into some sort of memory amnesia still persisting now. I forgot where things are my hands were shaking. He was always away on business trips so I live the same as if he is still overseas. That is how I cope and accepted his absence.