I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that time will cause the tears to abate. I lost my wife two weeks ago, and I am numb. I know the tears will come soon, and I hope they bring me some relief. The empty house is painful with all the reminders of her. I think this support group will help you, it has helped me.

The tears are part of grief and they serve a purpose that is important. They release the anxiety that we feel and cleanse our emotions. They are not signs of weakness, but the tool of becoming strong.

You deserve to be sad. You have the right to cry. Pamper yourself and let the emotions be felt. Only then will you begin to find your way through this time of total sadness and begin to see the sun and appreciate it's warmth. Sharon

Linda, Boy do I feel for you! It's so very hard in the first few weeks and for me crying was the norm. I walked and talked and cried for hours. I so missed my girl but I had no relief from the pain and grief. I wish the Dewman could kiss it and make it better but unfortunately it's part of the process. Just know all of us here feel your pain and have walked down the same path. I have many posts on DS describing my pain and experience on this journey. It sucks and even though I'm about 9 months into it it still hurts and I still cry. I have surended my maleness to the crying process and learned to accept it.

Dewman

I am at 9 months and seem to cry every day too. Just take it as being sad at the moment, miss my husband, just seeing his face in a picture the tears flow, how can you not feel a sadness missing that special person who was the center of your universe. Thank you all for sharing from the heart. It all helps us to get through the day. And where the heck is Lawrence feom Scottland!!! Hope he is okay....

Hi Linda,
I would get those sudden crying times before church, it seemed difficult to be there and be strong. Unfortunately, there is a belief out there, that thinks,i grief, is easier to bare when you are a Christian. That is not the case.
I decided to go to church with swollen eyes and know the reason I was there was to worship God, in spite of how I was feeling.
I would cry when you need, feel the pain and let it pass. In God's timing it gets easier. Keep praying your prayers are heard.
Hugs and love to you,
Sandra....Psalm 56:8 kjv

For some reason, even if not crying all the time. Church, they seem to flow. Even after 22 months, my eyes leak at any given time. Whether I am thinking of him or not. I don't know why.... My best to you.
Sandee

Thank you all for your caring words and letting me know the crying is part of the grief.

I am not mad at God; just the opposite, I pray all the time, but it is so hard to understand "why". I was listening to Joel Osteen this morning and he spoke about his mother who was diagnosed with cancer and had 6 months to live, lots of prayers for her healing, and she is now 81 years old. I had to turn it off. We had hundreds of people praying for Al's healing here on earth but it didn't happen. None of the chemo targeted therapy helped.

When he was first diagnosed, he cried and said he wasn't ready to die. That will haunt me forever.

Linda

I am so sorry for your loss. At one month you are still raw! I don't think I ever stopped crying for 4 months. I just passed six months - and still the tears come. I feel your pain. It is so hard to lose that other half of you. This is definitely a roller coaster ride you will have your good days and bad. This site has helped me get through it all. Big Hugs to you..

Oh, Linda, your pain is so recent. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's okay to cry, you're grieving, it's normal and natural.

I'm just passing the 5 month mark, and I still cry daily.

Ask your doctor to either increase the dosage on the Zoloft, or try another anti-depressant.
We are all on this awful journey. Remember you are not alone, we're here for you.

Hugs,
Janie

1 month, 3 days since i lost my wife..not one day since have i not cried..

Yesterday, i was doing "ok" until i decided to go clean up her car a little bit..Tears started flowing pretty quickly, when i found 2 bags with xmas presents in them that she had bought for me and had stashed in her car..

Linda I'm so sorry. I cried solidly for 3-4 months. An hour commute to work gives plenty of time to cry. It eased a bit after that but still catches me unexpectedly and hard at almost 8 months. It is exhausting isn't it? I'm an optimist by nature but it's taking me a very long time to get any spark back. I do think I see it coming though. Best wishes. Sandy

I'm having one of those days today. constant crying since this morning. Im at 107 days today and seems I have a few hours without tears, then when they start they just won't stop. I attribute it to the time of the year making it even worse. The triggers are everywhere. the music, the decorations, the shoppers, the couples. Hard to avoid it all. Have to go to work in a little while so hope I can get this under control soon so the red eyes will go away a little. Visine here I come again!

Hi Linda, Sorry for your loss. It's the only thing anyone can say. Nothing makes it better. It's just hard. Sooner or later the tears dry up leaving only the sadness.
Like you I was a happy, positive person. At seventeen months that person looks out of my eyes once in a while.
Keep praying. Finding your way back to God helps. It took me a year to forgive God for taking my husband.
Joining a gym and working out so hard I hurt and went to sleep got me through the first year.
I was half of a we. Figuring out, who me all by myself is takes a while. I' m just learning.
Feel free to cry and scream. Get it out. You're entitled.

I want to feel what I'm feeling and allow myself to go with the feelings, and all that that brings to my new world. I do not want medication to numb and stuff down what must be purged!

Sometimes I completely breakdown with a purple face, swollen, red, blood shot eyes and by the time I'm done, I'm exhausted, thoroughly and utterly exhausted!........I'm no longer a "we"; it's no longer Roz and Morey. Greeting cards, letters are all signed as one, no longer a pair of lovers; friends; mates; a team; a duo......singular, my life will be singular!

Roz

I am at 14 months and thought I was doing OK but today I cant stop. I want strength, I was energy, I wanted to feel better, (physically and mentally) but I know that I just have to keep walking the route that life has ordained for us

Liinda, I hope that things start to ease for you but never be afraid to the tears flow. They are cathartic but very tiring. God Bless.