I have felt the same way so many times. He will be gone 6 months tomorrow and sometimes I still expect to see him when I come home.

We have all felt like we are having a nightmare and will wake up and find our our loved one is really still here. That feeling is not as strong for me now at 2 months, but I still find myself looking at the door and watching the clock or even the elation when I turn the corner and see his car parked in the driveway. Those feelings are fleeting but still happen, just not as often.

It is a nightmare and were all here living it with you. I pray we'll wake up in heaven and they will be there waiting for us! Hang in there and take care of YOU .

Take care of yourself each day and try to do something that will make you happy. Having something to look forward to each day.....even if it is a meal or a walk in the park. Warm wishes to you.

I was there bad the first 4 wks seemed like I was so in shock I could barely eat or sleep when I would drift off a couple hrs & wake up I would start crying because he was still gone. I went into grief counciling right away I still go. That part is better & slowly reality sets in.This is not a reality we have a choice in, our lives are forever changed. I am learning my way through this.Leaning on my faith, doing things that make me smile playing with my grandkids.& When darkness comes on me I cry it out & I call usually my daughter & let her know she has been an angel talking about it helps & I get back up & keep on trying.And I'm learning for me after a day of fighting the good fight doing things I didn't feel like, talking to people completing household chores, reading or doing something I enjoy ( rewarding myself) I feel better. Initially I was so overwhelmed all I could picture doing was crying myself to death. I spent a few wks crying everyday off & on all day. The kids would take me out & I would cry while we shopped.& Slowly it stopped.Its been 3 months & Im finally able to hold back til Im alone & don't cry everyday.Be very kind to yourself. This is the roughest thing I have dealt with,I trust the Lord has a purpose for our lives and a plan. We are called to go on & no matter what we are blessed many have never had a spouse, or loved as we have.I'm am thankful God blessed me with my husband life on earth is not heaven.I will sure be looking forward to the day I get to see my Love again. Hang in there!!

the shock ... it is getting you through this. I remember the shock leaving, and you have to face reality. That is hard. I am at 21 months, and believe me when I say, you have a long road to go down yet, but it does get better. Its hard to believe, but I promise you will. First, take care of yourself. Get what rest you can, drink plenty of fluids, and remember to eat. This journey takes a toll on your body, as well as your mind. Take one day at a time. Come here and vent as much as you need to. My best to you.... Sorry you had to be here. Glad you are. sandee

My thoughts exactly Sandee. I am so sorry for your loss. Everything is so raw and painful for you now. Please be kind to yourself
Peace and hugs
Deb

When I was newly widowed (ugh! nearly 3 years later and I STILL hate that title!), someone told me that I probably feel as if I had been shot through with a cannonball. And, she confirmed I HAD been shot through with a cannonball!

The way we get through this is one minute, one hour, one day, one week, etc. at a time. And, Sandee's advice as to how to handle this physically, is spot on. If you broke your leg, you'd have to rest and stay off it until it was healed. So it goes with grief. Healing doesn't happen overnight. (I know that's not what you want to hear, but it is true). Your nightmare will lessen and fade, and one day you'll wake up to find that you can have pleasant dreams, again.

You will find, as most - if not all - of us here have found, that this site is a gift to those struggling with grief. We come here because we understand each other, as no one in the "outside" world can understand. And, we come here to verify that we are not crazy. We're not!

Hugs,
Terry