I think when we start thinking about how our lives have changed--like you are thinking about the possibility that a move might be good---it reminds us how much things have changed and how they will never be the same again--I think tears are natural in an instance like that. I'm glad you had friends who were there to listen--Hope you are feeling better this afternoon. Hugs

We had great lives and now we have a life not worth living. At least that's how it is for me. I know lots of people here will disagree, but I can only talk for myself, my life went from paradise to a pile of crap overnight when my wife died. I cry for my wife, who, as i keep saying, was by far my better half, I cry in memory of the life I had, and I cry because of the apparent horrible life that lies ahead. It's a big package of loss here, and we cry, sometimes even when we think we're through with the crying, we're never really through, there's just too much to mourn now. So don't be shocked when you cry, there's a lot to cry about.

God Bless, Sal.

I think you answered your own question in your second paragraph, Nicker, by verbalizing it. I don't cry a lot now, but when I do, it's like tears spurt from my eyes like a water faucet. Nothing and everything can bring it on. hugs, Marsha

I think it is because we lost the future we saw ourselves in. Now we think of the painful future ahead, the having to remake our lives. The holidays certaintly don't help.

Reading what you have written helps me to understand that we have every reason to cry now and again. Our futures were taken from us and we have no way of getting this back again. We will continue to try day by day to get through this. Know you are not alone my friend and you have lots of friends here on DS. Hugs Lu Ann

Could it be you needed someone to talk to about your lonliness? The holidays of course don't help. I do have to say grief has a way of popping up at any time. Big Hugs

...there is something deep inside us that has changed...and when that spot of loss and irrevocable change is touched, we cry.....

hugs.....

When reading your post I could relate to hating the thought of being alone and the holidays remind us (or at least they do my) of family and what is gone. This is my first Christmas without my husband and all I can say is that I hope that I don't cry as much in December as I have in November. ...Blessings Denise

You are a different person now, like it or not. And you have different needs. Listen to your heart, it sounds like it cried. There is something to be said about living in the `wild`, but reading your posts it sounds to me like you need loved ones around! Personally I would be terrified to be that far from civilization, but I can be a baby about being alone G-

Sometimes the darn tears are just at the surface and you just never know what will set them off.I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond tonight and a scene in the show brought me to tears. I so think the holidays make the loneliness worse. I looked for a job for almost a year before i finally found one and it is only part time.I lost count of the applications I put in it is a discouraging time we are living in. I try not to think ahead of how long I will have to be alone but sometimes late at night I start to worry about it. Talking about it and letting the tears flow helps. Hugs!!!

As everyone has said already, crying is a natural reaction to grief, at any time in our journeys, and honestly, I would think it was wierd if thoughts of lonliness and uncertainty didn't evoke some emotion. I am sorry for what you are going through, since I feel I will be in your shoes in the future. I think it is, as everyone is stating, the fact that when we had our significant others here, we had our lives and futures planned out, for the most part. In addition, we knew we had each other to do the planning. You are now having to plan that future alone, and change, the inevitable, is scary, either way you look at it. Only you can really answer where the tears came from. If you look deep inside your soul, you know exactly what it is and what triggered the stong emotion within you. I am sending prayers your way, and hugs. I am glad you had friends to explore your future with as you can now see, you are not alone in the process. I am also glad you came here to share the experience with others.
I myself am only one month into my grieving process and thus, the change in my future. I too am scared about what my future holds, and moving is one of the things i am most scared about. We were losing our home and my husand was trying to save, yet, I don't think I can now save it, given I am the sole provider. I hope you know it helps that you have shared as well, since I know I will need to find comfort in knowing, I am not alone. That is what the site and support group has done for me the most. Let me know, I am not alone in this process, or that anything I feel is not just felt my be, but felt by others.
I wish you luck in making the choices you seem to know you need to make. Know that some of the most difficult decsions we make are the best ones. God bless you and watch over you always.
-Jana

I still cry and I think this will be a lifetime thing. The holidays have me cranked up, too.

So sorry you are having a blue day. Go ahead and cry, it reminds us that we have human emotions. Although those emotions are exacerbated by our circumstance.

Why do you cry? I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. Just know that you are not alone.

Why do I cry? I finally figured it out. CHANGE...I hate it now, it's just not the adventure that it once was.
Hugs, Cathy

@Suzie I told my friends how much I miss him - I have not verbalized that in quite some time, & how my home etc has changed for me...
Many comments all so true.
@Sal I agree about what is now alone is a horrible life: sad, lonely, and uncertain but ya know I still wanna be here....just want things to get better - time has helped but I need some changes to happen quicker than they are right now....
@Carol Not liking where our new lives FORCE US to go speaks volumes,
@Marsha WOWI guess maybe it was time. It shocked me though when they came - so much I was stunned why
@heartsick I do feel holidays do bring on the loneliness even more - BUT the future we can no longer be in that we did have planned - and CHANGE esp. not knowing where our future now is ---I for one am terrible at not liking this...

Thank you for all your thoughts, they mean alot and gave me some comfort.....I love you all