Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Im so confused .... How am I suppose to feel.... Sadness remains a constant , sadness for my loss, sadness that my husbands life on earth was cut short and he had so much more to do in his young life...guilty for not making myself feel happy to still be alive and that I have a life , but do I really have a life, for I am alive and living , functioning "moving on the best I can" moving on to what ... A lonely life of too much aloneness.... Life has gone on married friends exclude me, I'm no longer a couple, not ready to date, not sure I can ever have another in my life, how can I share what I have , what my husband and I worked very hard for 20 years to obtain with another man and ever feel good about it.... Yes, they all tell me it's mine now get over it, he's gone it's yours ...but that's not how I feel,
What is happiness....
It was ...
Sharing a life with someone I loved, who loved me...who had my back, who was there for me, who I was comfortable with. I enjoy my new girl friends all widows , we share , we cry we laugh, they get it..... I'm just having a sad day today and needed to write this as the tears stream down my face and I continue to wonder why.....
What is happiness....
It was ...
Sharing a life with someone I loved, who loved me...who had my back, who was there for me, who I was comfortable with. I enjoy my new girl friends all widows , we share , we cry we laugh, they get it..... I'm just having a sad day today and needed to write this as the tears stream down my face and I continue to wonder why.....
I understand the confusion, too. The mixed up feelings and even guilt, for being here when our other half is not. Keeping you in prayers.
Hugs,
Shar
We lose friends, we make new friends. I think one of the hardest things is the constant adjusting - adjusting to the changes on every part of our lives that losing a spouse brings. It's exhausting, and changes - even when they are positive changes - are stressful.
Be patient and gentle with yourself. You have been through a life-changing disaster. Recovering and rebuilding from that disaster is going to be as difficult and complicated as if it was a tornado that plowed through it. And you may not get all the right answers on the first attempts - but you don't have to be perfect, and not everything has to work the first time you try it.
We sometimes let other people influence us into thinking that we are supposed to be one way or another, and that we are supposed to have accomplished this or that on someone else's timeline. The real test, in my opinion, is if it's beneficial and healthy for you.
It's okay to cry and miss him. It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to have the sad days. It's okay to resent the idea of sharing what was you and your husband's with someone else. It's okay to want a comfortable life back.
You will find your way back to 'happy' - it won't look identical to what it was before, in fact, it may be radically different from the 'happy' you used to have - but you will make it. Honest. Don't give up. Even Wonder Woman has bad days.
Sending you Love and Hugs, and hoping today is a better day for you, Martha
My husband was stolen from me by cancer 6 weeks ago today. He was so young and full of life and now I'm left here. I have three boys that I have to raise all by myself and I don't know where I'll find the strength. We've been together since I was 18. What life do I have left now?
-MJ