Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
We are overwhelmed on New Year's by the fact that they are gone. Our whole lives have burned to ashes. The new year.....how should we face it? What do we have to hope for?
In the early months I felt dead and hoped I would be dead as soon as possible. Because time waits for no one, however, the months rolled on and I was forced to go along. Just like an escalator keeps moving. You have to keep moving, too, or you'll be tossed on the floor at the top.
As the years rolled on by, I was given opportunities to live or die. I was fearful and not enthusiastic about the future. But one by one, my opportunies grew. Almost against my will, life started blooming again. Not like before, but blooming anyway.
I thought it would be a good idea for those of us who have been on this road for a longer time than many, would share how we have grown, bloomed and succeeded in living a life with some joy and hope.
As a widow, I have:
1. Flown alone to a state where my husband's family lived, to visit them. I thought I couldn't do it, but I did and it was wonderful.
2. I bought a little old RV to go camping in. Yes, by myself sometimes and sometimes with family members. Lots of fun.
3. I got a dog. When I sit on the floor with her and put my arms around her, I get a little of the joy that I had when I put my arms around my husband.
4. Joined a different church, one that supports me as a widow. I love the people.
What hope and joy have you discovered in your journey?
In the early months I felt dead and hoped I would be dead as soon as possible. Because time waits for no one, however, the months rolled on and I was forced to go along. Just like an escalator keeps moving. You have to keep moving, too, or you'll be tossed on the floor at the top.
As the years rolled on by, I was given opportunities to live or die. I was fearful and not enthusiastic about the future. But one by one, my opportunies grew. Almost against my will, life started blooming again. Not like before, but blooming anyway.
I thought it would be a good idea for those of us who have been on this road for a longer time than many, would share how we have grown, bloomed and succeeded in living a life with some joy and hope.
As a widow, I have:
1. Flown alone to a state where my husband's family lived, to visit them. I thought I couldn't do it, but I did and it was wonderful.
2. I bought a little old RV to go camping in. Yes, by myself sometimes and sometimes with family members. Lots of fun.
3. I got a dog. When I sit on the floor with her and put my arms around her, I get a little of the joy that I had when I put my arms around my husband.
4. Joined a different church, one that supports me as a widow. I love the people.
What hope and joy have you discovered in your journey?
1. Had a lovely holiday with my late husband
2. Had my whole world and life turned upside down with the death of my husband on 26th Feb 2008.
3. Changed jobs
4. Travelled to Australia twice, and done stuff I never would have before.
5. Moved house
6. Bought a new car
7. Retired (not the greatest idea, but was not happy at work)
8.Taken myself off the antidepresssants I had reluctantly taken for 3 years.
9. Bought a puppy (Bichon x Maltese) who is my constant friend.
10. Missed my Doug and cried nearly every day at least once since 26 Feb 2008
1. traveled by car with a relative from NY to OK
2. flown from OK to Mexico with other relatives
3. resumed my work
4. rented a house and moved in
5. bought a used car
6. adopted a dog
7. sold my house and land
8. bought a NEW car
9. realized that I AM OK
-travelled alone several times, sometimes by driving, other times by flying.
-stayed in a hotel by myself!!
-have been able to take care of our home, with hired help periodically, but I'm hanging in there! Have reached a point now where I can comfortably think about selling it because it is too big for me and too far away from family.
-been able to send DH guy stuff to auction; and give some his other stuff as gifts to friends and family.
-moved to an apartment close to campus and started college at 67 years young; and just made the Dean's List! Am enjoying every minute of this; and age has not been a barrier at all!
- am still learning to be comfortable about living alone. At times I am bothered about not having DH here to share with everyday. I still share with him, just in a different way now!
As I tell others, "my life is under construction and I'm a work in process!" and so it is. Blessings to all.