I originally wrote this to post on Sharon's "to date or not to date" post. Naturally, it got way too long ...big surprise? Huh? Lol... I also thought about posting it on the Hopeful Hearts board but

I didn't just want to share this with people who know what I'm talking about, I wanted to share it also with people who can't imagine what I'm talking about. The best I could do is offer you hope....so here goes...To date or not to date hadn't even crossed my mind at six months. Frankly, I couldn't have ever imagined it. It wasn't ever on my radar nor did I want it to be on my radar. Then...I noticed that someone else from our forum seemed to be walking on my path along side of me. Someone who stood out to me more than any other, someone who was a little different for some reason that I didn't yet understand, someone that I felt a connection with although I didn't know why. Someone special, someone who was put on my path for a reason. Little did I know how important he would become in my life. Little did I know that by asking the simple question "Friends?" that that one word would change our lives forever.  What started out as a very innocent and pure friendship, talking about just every day normal things, has turned into a beautiful love that I thank the heavens for every day. For those of you who don't know, tableforone, otherwise known as John, is my sweet love. My second chance at love.  My chapter 3. Our chapter 3.Both of us met our first loves in our teens. We were each married for many, many years to our best friend. Both of our spouses became ill over many years and we became loving and dedicated caregivers to them never regretting one second and cherishing every little moment. Both of them died in our arms and both of our worlds shattered.Somehow we both found our way to the DS forum.  It was a place to read and talk about grief, a place to learn how to first crawl, somehow get up on your knees, and eventually learn how to walk again. It was an opportunity to meet very special people who knew this world we were now unwillingly a part of. John and I discovered that we have many things in common and we share many interests. We are both gardeners, artists, and junk pickers.  Rusty junk was our first common bond and that phrase will always have a very special meaning to us.We started messaging each other on the forum which over time, led to personal emails, texts, phone calls, face time and eventually meeting in person.  Johnnie traveled to see me for the first time. He let me set my own pace as I was newer on this journey than he was. I had dates and milestones that I needed to get through for my own peace of mind.  He couldn't have been more patient, kind and compassionate. The 1400 miles that separates us has pushed us along this journey to get to know each other so well. Not being able to be physically together forced our mind and souls to connect far deeper than ever imagined.  We have discussed everything under the sun imaginable. It has been great therapy for the both of us. We have built such a solid foundation based on friendship. That base is serving us well as we continue to build this relationship step-by-step with love, faith, hope and of course...laughter! We've been together many times since that first meeting and even though it's hard to believe...each time just gets better and better. We speak of Capri and Ira often. We reminisce  about the good times, the bad times, the fun times, and the sad times. There are no jealousies or comparisons.  We are very good at keeping our two lives separate, that being our past life with them...and now, this...our new life with us. It won't ever be the same as it shouldn't...but it can and will be just as good. We have great respect for both worlds and for Capri and Ira.  We also feel that they have had a hand in this union as there or too many coincidences and signs that would have us believe otherwise.I have found in Johnnie,  a wonderful partner that I can grow old with.....love, cherish and laugh with until our last page.Yes, we know that one of us will have to go through the pain again of losing the other at some point in our lives. We've been down that road before and know that although it will be awful, we can handle it...however... knowing now what I know of this beautiful new love...denying it would be even worse. I ask myself, "Would I miss all of this because I'm afraid?" No way...absolutely no way!To me, there is a big difference between living and existing. I choose living. We have a God-given chance to love again and there is no way that I will refuse that gift. We are truly twice blessed and cherish every moment that we have together. One last thought... You all know how we say that you don't know what it's like to be a widow or widower until you've walked the walk. Well, that goes the same for a second chance at love.  You don't know what it feels like until it's happened to you therefore, don't judge.... You don't know the storms we've walked through or the high price we've paid to get to where we are today. Yes, you've all been through a horrific storm too, each has their own unique story and a chapter you don't read out loud.   So...never look down on anyone, only God sits that high.Blessings, love, courage and strength to all of you who walk this walk each day.  You truly are stronger than you think and braver than you know. Keep your eyes open, always keep love in your heart and trying greeting  each morning with a smile. Pretend that sun came up just for you. Even though it's very hard at times, a positive attitude will make your life better.Love and many thanks to all of you for your love and encouragement to me all of these months since I arrived here broken. You all had given me hope that it would get better and the strength to hold on until it did. Thank you my friends.Love you!Darcie