Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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avmom 12/03/2017

i told my kids we will go get a tree today, I am so dreading this event. The fact is I feel numb to the holidays this year. I made it through our anniversary, Halloween and thanksgiving but Christmas has really done me in. My husband loved Christmas and was excited each year. At one point we had 3 Christmas trees in our house. This year I can’t even get motivated to get one. I am not sad or even mad, I just feel numb. If it wasn’t for my kids I would probably get nothing. My family feels like it has been 8 months and nothing should bother me anymore. I have stopped trying to explain, I know they will never understand until they lose a spouse. I thank god for my boys, they keep me going even when I don’t want to. I know someday I will enjoy the holidays again. I recently found a journal I started right after my husbands death, it was lost in the move I thought. Reading about how I felt in the beginning made me see how far I have come. I hope next year I will be in a better place.

Domer 12/04/2017

I am also at the 8 month point. My kids helped me put the Christmas tree and other decorations and I was going thru the motions. After the kids went back to college I was home alone and even though everything was decorated there is an emptiness about not having your spouse there to share it with you. Nobody truly understands what it is like to belong to this club unless you have gone thru it. I usually just agree with people that I am doing better probably to make them feel more comfortable around me. Hang in there. Ron

Scooby29 12/04/2017

I too am at almost the 7 .month point of losing the love of my life. On Wednesday my son graduates and although I'll be proud part of me is missing. I've been on holiday but it's not the same anymore. All we can do is take one day at a time. The pain we feel will never go away and will always be there . Stay strong if at all possible

Rick51 12/04/2017

I have two trees in the crawl, which I'm reluctant to bring up. Where was J/C when we needed him, and we should celebrate his birthday???

cupolatte 12/04/2017

I think you are terrific! I couldn't even get the Christmas tree put up my first year without my husband. My kids had no interest in it either. You are pushing forward. Good for you! It does take a very long time, probably years, to be able to find joy and celebrate life again after the death of your spouse, but at least the numbness is a lot better than the pain and hopelessness. Holidays really are the hardest times and I will be praying for you. Life does begin again, but first you have to go through the grief, then the motions of life. God bless you and your kids.

avmom 12/04/2017

I want to thank everyone for all the comments. Everyday is a new day and I never know if it is going to be a good day or not. We got the tree up and even got a snowman for the front yard. I made my first fire in my new fireplace. A few calls to my brother but I got it done. That was just part of our tradition when putting up our trees. I know one days my sons will be thankful for trying to keep our traditions alive. I am a strong woman who was loved by a good man. He is gone but his love is always in my heart.

nebby 12/04/2017

i feel so for the people in this group with children. your agony is doubled and you must be doubly brave. all respect to you

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