Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Holiday sadness

mimi15236
mimi15236
I need some help getting through this holiday. My husband died from cancer 5 months ago. We were married for 42 years.. I have 3 children and 4 grandchildren. When they are around, I try to act normal and not sad. But, I constantly have the knot in my throat and chest, always on the verge of endless tears. Oh, by the way, my mother (she lived with us) died 6 months before my husband died. My emotions are all over the place. Am I going insane? I miss my husband very much and Christmas will not be the same without him. I wish I could sleep right into 2014. Thanks for help.
frannyea
frannyea
I lost my husband 2 months ago after a battle with cancer. We were married for 48 yrs have 3 sons. My tree is half decorted, i can't open my Christmas cards because the Mr. Is gone ont the envelope and I still have thank you cards to mail. I to put on an act in front of my sons andtheir families. Last wk i wrote an email to my daughter in law.i just let go with my felings. I told her how sad i was. She replied "i am so glad you trusted me enough to express your true felings". This was very comforting to me. I relized I no longer need to be strong all the time. i am looking forward to seeing everyone on Christmas just cant get the details done. It is OK to cry and be sad it is not a feeling you can control. Take one day at a tme with your family support you will overcome this. Fran
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband died 5 months Sunday. I was going to write out the thank you cards last week. I all really did that day was cry. I just cannot bring myself to do that. My sister told me that I had one year to do this. She said that I maybe I needed to wait until after Christmas do them in January. I am going to listen to her.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Millerb,

I haven't sent my thank you cards yet either. And my husband died last March, so I'm at ten months. I also cry each time I start to do it, and the task becomes overwhelming. I

I was also told I have a year, but my time is running out. My sister-in-law made be feel more guilty. Not usually a punctual person, she, neverheless, asked me for some cards so she could at least send them to people she knows. .I guess I'll have to make this a post-holiday goal too.

I am not sure why I've been finding this so hard. But, then, I've been finding a lot of the "after tasks" difficult: I still haven't ordered the gravestone, haven't changed the names on various bills and accounts, haven't put away any of his things. ,I'm in akind of suspended animation.

DorothyJoan
jblail
jblail
Your sleeping idea sounds good to me. It is the only time I get any peace. This is my frist Christmas without her an she was the one that held everyone together. So this year will be very different. My daughter has said she will cook dinner but we're doing it Christmas ev so my son and his girlfriend can go to her parents on Christmas day. So we'll do the best we can. I'm going to light a candle and set it at her place and tell good stories about our time together. Muddle through the best we can.
Best to you,
Jeff