Congratulations on your new home. It has been over two and a half years for me and I still own..maintain my own home. When Denny died it was like my home was invaded by "breaker down thingers" once a week. Furnace problems, pipes broken and leaking, basement wall cracked and flooded, lawnmower broken down, refrigerator problems, big screen tv tube died, computer died, and the list goes on and on. Oh yeah....add car problems and needing tires....(not the house...but still it was aweful). Some things I fix myself....I looked up my tv and found the tube ($175.00 worth) online and ordered it. My son did install it, but I wasn't far from being able to do it myself. I sold tons of things on Craigs list and am now very good at that. I replaced the refrigerator, computer, after bringing the hard drive on my computer to a technician to see if it could be fixed. I now have my son in law here so I am not in a panic about the house things...but he is still not my husband and it is different managing a home solo.

The biggest difference between when Denny first died and now is now I know that I can deal with whatever comes my way in my home. At first I would panic every time something broke down. Now I expect that things will break down and I will decide whether it is something I can fix, or I need someone who knows more than me. If so...do I ask one of my adult children, a neighbor, or pay a professional?

So what I'm trying to say is I'm so proud of you and you can do it!!

hugs...
-Diana

My partner was renting our apartment before I knew him. He wasnt in a position to buy but I was so I purchased the apartment. But now I feel like I am living in his apartment as he had lived here for a number of years before we met. Most of the possessions are his. I cant help but feel guilty that he should be here and not me.

I say use the net as an information source on how to do tasks such as lawn care, etc. Otherwise hire a handyman to start and get some tips before you go it alone. I am not sure because I have only ever lived in apartments

Yes, I felt the same and sometimes still do. For me, it made me feel very insecure. My husband took care of so much, but slowly I've been trying to learn to do all those things he used to care for. I've found that yard work can be very therapeutic. Also, when I have tried to do something new and I succeed its a great feeling. There are lots of websites online that can give you step by step instructions on how to do somethings. Just go at your own pace and don't put too much pressure on yourself...

Lisa

Congratulations on your new house. You will manage well and you will find new strengths and resources in you that you did not know existed. I too now live on my own with 2 young kids in our own house. And since he was sick for some time, we had no time for some maintenance work. After he died some things have been giving way and I am finding myself taking charge, either doing basic jobs or getting help from family, neighbors and if required calling tradesmen. And the car was something I drove, he took care of all maintenance. I had to learn how to check oil levels, transmission fluids etc and how to top them up. Sometimes, I feel completely overwhelmed and then I cry and speak to my beloved angry that he left me with all this new jobs. Then I feel him by my side and I am strong once again. I feel him guiding me telling me I am doing OK and that he is proud of me and I feel proud of my small achievements.

So hang in there. As Connie said, we woman are the most resourceful and adaptable species on this planet. You can do it.

Yes, you can. I have been doing it for 2-1/2 years now. Scary? Absolutely, because, yes, everything is on your shoulders now. But someway, somehow, it always works out.

I do have family to help when I need it and I also have a very good, reasonable, handy man and sprinkler system guy.

Just take a deep breath. I worry too.

I have also bought a house and moved in since my husband died. You can do this and do it well!!! I know. So my best advice is: if you can figure it out, do it yourself. There are great resources on the internet, etc. for when things go wrong. I also have great friends and family here that pitch in when I need it. But, I have also learned, if you can't do it, then pay someone else to do it. Sometimes that is the only choice. Good luck and enjoy your new home. Hugs, Dawn

Hey Tuhal, gratz on the new house. Your husband is proud of you. You're right, owning a home is a much bigger responsibility than renting. Something that will make your life easier, and give you great peace of mind would be to engage the services of a home maintenance company. It will cost about $500 per year, but if anything breaks they come and fix it our even replace it. The company I use is ECM, i've used them for the past seven years and they have replaced garbage disposal units, fixed plumbing issues, and any problem with any appliance. Everything from toilets to washer/druer problems, no problem. You should look into a company like this by you. I'm in FL, don't know if ECM is in your state, but certainly some other such operation is. Just google this type of service or ask a neighbor. Well worth it....good luck.

I have American Home Shield, and they run about $500.00 per year in coverage cost. You only have to pay a deductible amount of $95.00 per repair. My understanding in the contract is that if the item cannot be repaired, it is replaced with something comperable.