Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Ive been floating around this site for a few days now and decided to put myself out there, and share my story. I am 25 and 3 weeks ago my 24 year old husband passed away from pneumonia. Even though we were young, he was my soulmate and my best friend. We spent 7.5 years in love together and we loved every minute of it. Of course there were ups and downs, it was a real relationship, but I valued how hard we worked. It seems so hard to fathom all of this. One minute somebody is there and you have planned out your life together, including future kid names and next big move to another city, and then its different. My life doesn't even feel like my own anymore. I wouldnt even say I am in that much pain, its more like I'm just lost and floating. I would say the worst part about being young, is that everyone around you keeps moving. People are having babies, getting married, getting those promotions, and all my plans are out the window. Though technically I am still in graduate school, I am just finding it hard to do anything, especially my studies. Not really sure what to do. I try each second of each day, but the emotions are so unexpected. I'm lonely. I miss the companionship. Even when he was alive, I used to miss my husband after a long day. The worst part is that everyone is kind and offers their help and sympathies, but they don't have to deal with the pain. Sigh, so thats why I'm writing here. I think its time I communicate with people who understand my pain
I remember those early weeks, how numb and raw I felt.
I can only advise you to keep asking for help, and keep accepting help. Plan just an hour at a time. Make lists (my memory was shot for a long time after... I still do running lists.)
Accept that sometimes just sitting on the couch, staring into space is exactly where you need to be right at that moment.
Remember to eat, as healthily as possible. Sleep, if you can.
If people ask how they can help -give them specific tasks. It often helps them feel better to contribute and feel useful.
I'm sorry for what brought you here, but I'm really glad you found us.
Big hugs, Jac.
Hang in there.
Maggie
Your story inspired me to write. i am also currently in a same situation.
I was in a relationship for past 4.5 years. Me and my boyfriend were doing phd together and living in the same hostel. We went for a trip to the hills and while returning back we had an accident on 26th Jan 2015. I survived, however, he died in that accident on the spot. We had plans to get married by next year and continue with our career together in research. Our families had met and agreed with our decision and were extremely supportive.He was more like a friend and mentor for me. I depended on him for every little decision of mine. He was the one who used to wake me up in the morning and get the day started. We used to do everything together, having breakfast, lunch, dinner and then mostly watching 'friends' online before going to bed.
Although I am surrounded by my family members now and they have been very supportive. But, slowly they all have got back to their lives and daily routine jobs. However, its very difficult for me to get back to work and hostel to continue my phd. Each and every corner of that place reminds me of him and I see him everywhere over that place. I am just trying to be strong and deal with myself.