Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi everyone. I am glad to see that I have more friends now on the site and it's a nice feeling. I know you are hurting and I hope you feel like you can write to me anytime. I will always answer. There are times I can't get on the site a lot because I either went to bed early or am just busy or feeling down myself too.
I was thinking of my hubby today as I did work outside that normally he would be doing. I remember when he would squeeze my knee like some do and it makes you laugh....I remember his hand was like a vice grip! I would tell him, you are stronger than you think Mr. Laughery! LOL. He got stronger when he started building metal buildings, lifting steel etc. Then all the horse training. I'm telling you if you've ever ridden a horse and rode for like 4 or 5 hours straight trotting and loping....you end up with terrible saddle sores! Like a rope burn but on your butt! You just hold your breath when you get in the shower because the salt of your sweat just burns those sores you will literally scream inside the shower stall! LOL! But you get strong legs and strong arms riding a lot.
Anyway, that's what I was thinking about today.
Then yesterday I bought 2 truckloads of SandyLoam. (A sand and brown dirt mix) to build up the back runs of the horse stalls. Beautiful soil and not a single rock! Expensive but worth it. So I spent about 6 hours on the tractor scooping and dropping the soil into the runs. There was lots more to it, like opening gates that haven't been opened in a long time and sitting deep into the ground. I thought I'd break my back trying to pull them out of the dirt and grass roots , OH, my back! But walking outside today helped. We are supposed to get lots of rain like maybe up to 10 inches! I got it done just in time!! I still have one load of dirt on the ground so I spent like 1-1/2 hours trying to cover it with tarps and nailing in wood spikes and then steel rod with a small sledgehammer. It was so tiring and the wind kept blowing the tarps so you can imagine. I hope those tarps stay put and not be gone by tomorrow!!
So today I am very sore on one arm and the front of my legs and my back. All I can say is those horses better be thankful!
I hope you all are staying busy with projects or friends and trying to maintain a normal but adjusting life. Its definitely the roller coaster ride and I still get on it. One year since my hubby died surely hasn't taken the pain away. I still miss him very badly. And while I was doing all that work I talked to him and said, help me, guide me. This was your job and I'm trying to keep up our place too. And it's very tiring. Had to fix fence the other day again too.
And Dandy the horse I am trying to de-spook gave me a good rope burn the other day. I had gloves on but the rope burned my arm rubbing across it when he decided to run off before I could get his halter off of him. I was so frustrated. I went and got him again, tightened his halter, made him back up about 30 feet and fast, then had him walking with me and abruptly stopping saying WHOA, to get it through him that whoa means WHOA. Then more backing and he finally got the hint.
I untied him and he walked away and then trotted away.
THAT's what I wanted to see....oh boy I'm telling you.
Guess I'm talking way too much. Just that I haven't been here for while and wanted to talk to you all.
:)
I hope you all are doing well or better. Please don't give up. It's not easy I know but somehow we must make our loved ones proud. I just really hope they can see us somehow. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing.
Well all, have a good night with sweet dreams. Take care and don't work too hard cause it hurts the next day.
Letty
I was thinking of my hubby today as I did work outside that normally he would be doing. I remember when he would squeeze my knee like some do and it makes you laugh....I remember his hand was like a vice grip! I would tell him, you are stronger than you think Mr. Laughery! LOL. He got stronger when he started building metal buildings, lifting steel etc. Then all the horse training. I'm telling you if you've ever ridden a horse and rode for like 4 or 5 hours straight trotting and loping....you end up with terrible saddle sores! Like a rope burn but on your butt! You just hold your breath when you get in the shower because the salt of your sweat just burns those sores you will literally scream inside the shower stall! LOL! But you get strong legs and strong arms riding a lot.
Anyway, that's what I was thinking about today.
Then yesterday I bought 2 truckloads of SandyLoam. (A sand and brown dirt mix) to build up the back runs of the horse stalls. Beautiful soil and not a single rock! Expensive but worth it. So I spent about 6 hours on the tractor scooping and dropping the soil into the runs. There was lots more to it, like opening gates that haven't been opened in a long time and sitting deep into the ground. I thought I'd break my back trying to pull them out of the dirt and grass roots , OH, my back! But walking outside today helped. We are supposed to get lots of rain like maybe up to 10 inches! I got it done just in time!! I still have one load of dirt on the ground so I spent like 1-1/2 hours trying to cover it with tarps and nailing in wood spikes and then steel rod with a small sledgehammer. It was so tiring and the wind kept blowing the tarps so you can imagine. I hope those tarps stay put and not be gone by tomorrow!!
So today I am very sore on one arm and the front of my legs and my back. All I can say is those horses better be thankful!
I hope you all are staying busy with projects or friends and trying to maintain a normal but adjusting life. Its definitely the roller coaster ride and I still get on it. One year since my hubby died surely hasn't taken the pain away. I still miss him very badly. And while I was doing all that work I talked to him and said, help me, guide me. This was your job and I'm trying to keep up our place too. And it's very tiring. Had to fix fence the other day again too.
And Dandy the horse I am trying to de-spook gave me a good rope burn the other day. I had gloves on but the rope burned my arm rubbing across it when he decided to run off before I could get his halter off of him. I was so frustrated. I went and got him again, tightened his halter, made him back up about 30 feet and fast, then had him walking with me and abruptly stopping saying WHOA, to get it through him that whoa means WHOA. Then more backing and he finally got the hint.
I untied him and he walked away and then trotted away.
THAT's what I wanted to see....oh boy I'm telling you.
Guess I'm talking way too much. Just that I haven't been here for while and wanted to talk to you all.
:)
I hope you all are doing well or better. Please don't give up. It's not easy I know but somehow we must make our loved ones proud. I just really hope they can see us somehow. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing.
Well all, have a good night with sweet dreams. Take care and don't work too hard cause it hurts the next day.
Letty
Glad to meet you
it would be so nice having a horse friend going through the same things, and we could share our horse work. that helps.
well, I don't do colts anymore, except I'm still good with them on the ground work, with more patience than I used to have really ends up puttting a safer & more dependable foundation on them mentally.
NO colt Riding for me anymore. but I enjoy getting them ready for it.
but you're way off in Texas. and I'm in Cali.
I like work around horses. you are fortunate having the means to do it right. If I need dirt brought in before winter I have to pay someone.
I'm pinching pennies since husband died.
and I'm down to just one 23 yr old mare. I started her when she was 6 yrs! Her being good minded sure helped.
Anyhow, I LOVE reading your work stories!
Your horse stores sound so fun. I live in the city in an apartment so all the livestock I get is a cat but she is sweet and great. Animals are great.
I believe that the dead are with us watching over us. It gives me great comfort to talk to my wife's ghost when she visits me.
Like you, iIm just trying to stay busy and occupied to not think about painful things but sometimes it's hard.
ANd "AfterMom", you get what I mean. But Dandy is no colt. He's about 14 years old! He's been ridden for years but I think he has bad memories of a life long before my husband took him in to ride for the new owners that bought Dandy.
Now Dandy is beginning to respect me more and look at me as head mare. But he had his days. I punish him with backing up, sometimes a pop on the rump with the lead, but that's it. He is big at least 1000lbs and I've got to get him to do my bidding. He has improved greatly and not nearly as jumpy. I take empty sacks of horse feed as hubby did, and rub them all over him and in between his legs etc. I even let the wind take them away as they fly by him and make him walk on them even if I have to place his foot on the bag. Then all the crackling sounds no longer scare him. He is like a 14 year old 2 year old. BUT he is improving all the time and I make certain I touch him and pat him and don't treat him like glass. When you do that it's like a predator sneaking up on him, moving too slowly he is anticipating something bad. Just throw the blanket on his back. Drop the saddle and not just gently place it. For a baby yes, not a 14 year old.
Anyway, thanks for writing. I hope you guys get some rain out there. I know Calif. has been like Texas, dry and dry. But now the rain should start fall into Winter when you are cold AND wet.
Well take care.
And thank all of you for your replies.
You must be exhausted at the end of the day. It's so good to fall into bed so tired that all you want to do is sleep.....no tossing and turning because your muscles and bones are so sore from the day you just want that welcoming and healing sleep,
You are a true warrior woman and I'm proud to call you one of us. We didn't ask for our lives to be this way but here it is and we MUST cease it and make the very best of it.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Roz
Well, there's no time like the present for sacking them out.
Good luck in all your work days. and do be careful.