When my husbands grave marker came in, I was so excited. To this day I dont know why, but I drove right over then as I got there I realized what I was here for and cried in the car for awhile, before seeing it. When we ordered it my name and birthday is on it as I will be buried with him, at first I thought I didnt want that, but when I finally got out of the car and saw it , it made me feel closer to Bill. Seeing our names together. Peace to You on this diffcult journey. Hugs Denise

I don't have a headstone for Mike. His ashes are actually sitting in a lovely box on his dresser in our bedroom. I'm quite a non-traditionalist as far as some of the funeral things went...and I am very comfortable with his ashes being there. In fact, I really don't give it a second thought.
I do believe, however, that if I had to go see a gravemarker with his/our names on it,I too would cry...it does seem so "real" then...which it is...allow yourself to experience all the emotions of that moment. It's natural for you to be sad! And if you need to cry or scream or whatever, know that no one hear would think that was not a good thing to do!
Peace and hugs...Jill

Well Jim's headstone is just like all the rest at the Veteran's Cemetery. It has his name, rank branch of the service and Vietnam on it. We got to put the last few lines on Beloved husband, father and Grandfather. Rest in Peace. It was up oh about 6-8 weeks after he died. My information when I die goes on the back and I will be buried on top of him. He is buried 60 miles away and on almost every Sunday since he died I put flowers on his grave and talk to him. I know his spirit is gone but I feel so close to him there.

My husband's ashes sit on his enameling kiln in the library room. Some days I am okay with this, sometimes I'm in so much pain and longing that nothing is okay. Peace to all.

I have my husband's ashes in a lovely box here on my bookcase in my living room. He's been gone 5 months today and I have no idea what else to do with them, so there they sit. They do not bother me at all because I don't really feel that the box is filled with him. That which remains here in this world is not his spirit, not his soul, not him.
CJ was married three times but while he was married to his second wife (she passed away in 1988), he buried her in a cemetery in the town we lived in at the time and had a headstone made with her name, birth and death dates but also added his name and birthday as well. One thing he did ask me was to have his date of death carved on that headstone when he passed, even though his remains are not there. I know it's selfish of me but I don't want anyone to think he's lying there next to her. I'm keeping his ashes for the time being and when I figure it all out, we will be together (wherever that is). Our daughters know this too so I'm not too worried about it. I just don't want to do the headstone!! Maybe someday I will?

I did not see the headstone in person till it was set. I had a new baby and the man at the monument place took a picture and sent it to me. The first time I actually saw it was very emotional. The big mistake I made was to take the kids to the cemetery. They were more upset to see my name on the stone as well and I think flashes went through their minds that I might die at any minute. Seeing that side of the stone that says Margaret creeps me out as well.

Magggie

When I ordered the headstone I had my son go with me. But it took months for it to be ready. The first time I saw it was when it was already placed at the gravesite. It gave me comfort to see it, rather than just bare grass.

I have My husbands ashes sitting in my bedroom for now. Before we were married Frank had a son who was 7 when he passed, and he is buried up on Long Island. I am taking Franks remains up there at the end of the month and resting him beside his son. I bought a small bronze heart that has some ashes in it for me to keep. here...My heart goes out to you Judymc...

A week before Jim died, a friend of ours was at the house cleaning our pellet stove and showed Jim a picture of a Harley Davidson gas tank urn that he was making. Jim showed me the picture that night when I got home from work and said how cool they were and said that was what he wanted when he went. I told him well that wasn't going to be for a very long time, but if that's what he wanted, ok. Who knew I would be calling our friend back a week later and ordering one. I had it pinstriped just like his Harley gas tank and now it is mounted on the wall above our mantle. I have a picture of him sitting on his motorcycle right beside it.

i had my wifes ashes in our home until the marker was finished..the day the marker was put in place i too went right away to see it..yes i know my wife is not there and i can talk to her anytime but every sunday i plop my self down for what is an emotional chit chat with her and God in a very quiet setting..i find the carnations that were her colors and tell her she is the prettiest as she ever was...my wife was closer to her uncle than her own father and not until i cleaned out 1 of our closets did i find out Darlene had kept uncle Jacks ashes in there..my sis said to me "didn't you know uncle jack was in your closet the last 15 years?"..apparently i was the only one who didn't know..now what to do with him?..when i placed my wifes ashes in her cremation plot ,i scattered him in the plot on the outer linings ,so he found a home close my wife..a quirky story but a crazy family thing ..

My husband's ashes are in our bedroom, in an oak fishing cabin kind of Urn. We will be taking his ashes to be released into the Northwoods waters soon.
I am going back and forth as to keeping a bit for myself, or releasing all.
He will be happy there, and that will make ME happy then to know he is with all that he loved his whole life.
I wish you peace, as I know how hard it is to see that finality. Hopes in the days to come, it will also give you comfort.

Hugs, diane

Bill is buried in a very pretty cemetery about 20 minutes from our house. I was anxious to get our headstone - a double-wide :) Once it was installed, it brought me peace to see both our names on the stone together.

Gary and I are both very untraditional. We talked about what we each wanted many times. Gary said to many people on many occasions. "When I'm gone I want some of my ashes mixed into oil paints and then I want a picture done with the paint and my ashes. Since that won't take all of me I also want some of my ashes put in an Etch-A-Sketch. After that, whatever is left can be passed around to whoever wanted a piece of me." Well a friend is doing a painting. I have 2 Etch-A-Sketchs, directions on how to take them apart and another friend who will do that. I have some of his ashes in our room in a Raiders Tankard that he loved and I had sealed. The rest...as per his request were given to family and friends who requested some. Another friend made keepsake candles mixing some of the ashes with the candle wax and pourng into glass containers with Gary's picture silkscreened on it. As I said not traditional, but what he wanted. I'm comfortable with the ashes in all of their forms in the house. FYI my ashes and a few of Gary's will be mixed into cement, turned into a statue of a mermaid and tossed in the ocean so it becomes a fish habitat.

For me it completed everything. Couldn't wait to see it . Was very pleased with the job the monument company did.

When we lost our son he was cremated, then his ashes buried, so we had to chose a headstone. Yes you do need someone there to help. We got a beautiful one with green marble and celtic print. when it was done we were sent a picture, I couldnt look at it. We went to the cemetary after it was laid - and yes we both broke down. Point I am trying to get to is my husband said he wanted his ti look just like it, I never gave that another thought until he died. My mother made me go right away and make burial plans, his ashes still would be here if she didnt. I just lost it when I saw their headstones together - it was just right, and the cemetary workers put in-ground vases in both and had put flowers in them! Now there is room for me next to them. It does get easier to see, and I think it is very important to have a place to go. I felt their presence there very much, then less as time went on. Felt like they were moving on ( or I was ) ,sorry for rambling. G -