Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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He's Competent and Coming Home

Truhal
Truhal
I can't believe it, but I should. I got a call from the social worker at the rehab center saying that my father is competent, so they will be releasing him today. This after they said he had dementia and could not live alone. I had a feeling this was coming, but went into denial. Now, dad is going back home to the guns and the knives and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

I'm washing my hands of this. Basically, they're saying what I've been suspecting: the whole thing has been an act and is just part of his mental illness. Not dementia.

Thanks everyone for supporting me through my constant rant. Sometimes I would sit up at night reading your post over and over.
scottito
scottito
You've gotten some great advice from all the others, and you are doing a great job in a really tough and stressful situation. But I am concerned about your dad using the dog as a hook (excuse) to come see you. Because of the attack you previously wrote about within the past day or two, in this state at least you would have no problem getting a restraining order against him (and at least here, you would not need an attorney to do that). If he does comes around, the police can and will do something if you have a restraining order, and I believe you have just cause to get one. Please consider it for your own safety and peace of mind. God's protection upon you ~ Scott
Mgould
Mgould
So they acknowledge he's mentally ill but don't do anything about it. It sounds like you have a good idea about how to handle this horrible situation. So sad you have to go through it - but is so a sad situation whenever there are mental health issues in a family.

Social work was my undergraduate degree - but it seems like the majority of social workers I've come across have been worthless and if anything made me more angry than I was before.

Hope things get better - I know you've had a tough time. There is nothing else you can do but walk away.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tru, I like the stand that you took and what you've done with the dog. You had no other choice.

If he wants to see the dog, have a friend or relative bring the dog over for a visit and then back to you, please do NOT let him come to your house. And, if at all possible, stay away from his. He's toxic and he's dangerous.

Watch your back, keep your doors locked and stay away for your own good.

I wish you peace in this volatile situation.

Roz
Truhal
Truhal
Just want to thank everyone again for giving me your insights on my dad. Many times I've sat and read these responses again and again. I do it when I'm weak and think it's a good idea to try again.

As for him visiting me--never happen. I live in a rural area and he's afraid of that. I've lived out here for 10 years and he's only come once. And that's when I picked him up. He does not drive and there's no public transportation.
katrina777
katrina777
Glad to hear you are in a safe place, please remember no would haves, could haves, should haves, be proud that you did your best, and no looking back. Hugs. Katrina
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
I am proud of you... hugs... sandee
npc4204
npc4204
Thank God he can't drive out to see you!
I hope he wouldn't think of asking someone to bring him.
Just stay safe, please!
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