Oh boy... My heart goes out to you. You have tried your best. Please be careful! Some of these institutions just amaze me with the double talk!
Prayers and love to you
Darcie

I'm sorry you have to go through this over and over. If you can I would remove the weapons but that's just me. Mental illness is such a mixed bag of things its so hard to deal with. Do what you have to in order to keep yourself safe. Hugs and strength coming your way

Lisa

I also meant to add that if you could, try to get those guns and knives out of his house. For his safety AND yours...
Darcie

I can't find the knives and found only one gun. I have no legal right to remove either. If I take them, he will become even more dangerous to me. I'm taking him home, then I'm getting out. The US laws are not protecting us. Something to keep in mind when we see the mass shootings going on here.

Oh no.... they did that with my husband, time and time again. But because it both names on deed of house. I was stuck. I agree, get out!!!...My husband could trick everyone else also. I never knew who he was going to be that day. I was told it was really hard to get a person in a nursing home now days. Prayers go out to you...Sandee

so sorry!! I know what the threat of having guns in the house is like. Towards the end of my husbands life he talked about it a lot because the cancer wasn't getting any better. I was able to take the gun safe key and hide it. Your situation is totally different. You are right to think the laws suck. Be smart what ever you do. Be smart. - hugs Arlene

Oh my...can you take away his car so he cant go anywhere?
Protect yourself!! Many tragedies occur because of mental illness.

I had a order of protection issued against my husband when he was released, once Judge told me after I put locks on my bedroom doors, keep my gun close, and a can of wasp spray. If he tried to get in, the spray reaches about 10 feet, either gives you time to get away or get your gun. Then call 911. say someone is breaking in your room....Don't tell them you know who it is...????

I wonder if you can report him to whatever authorities issue gun permits in your area and see if there is anything they can do?

Can you request a second opinion as to his fitness?? Can you challenge that social worker's findings by going over their head?

Just trying think what else you can do.....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I would do 3 things in your situation. 1) I would ask for a formal letter from the institution that he is legally competent and can live alone(they wont want to give this do to legal liability but you are calling their bluff). 2)I would not pick him up. Time to take yourself out of the mix3)Unfortunately this will not be dealt with until a crisis occurs. You have to step back and let the crisis develop(very hard to do). I Had to do these things before a proper placement was found for a family member. Do only the things you feel emotionally able to do. Sorry you have to deal with this as well as your grief.

I would have someone else pick him up as he just attacked you. A lot can happen during a car ride. At the very least I would try and find someone to come along. You need someone watching your back. You can't drive and watch yourself at the same time It could put someone else at risk if he gets angry and grabs the wheel.

Truhal, I can't remember from your previous posts, but do you live in another home, not his? If not, that would be the first thing I would do is move. Make sure you take someone with you though. In fact anytime I would visit I would have someone with me. It sounds like he is definately a manipulator. And they seem to know how to get to those that their manipulation has an effect on. Doesn't seem to be violent toward others, so maybe your communication can be by phone only? At least if he starts in you can simply hang up. You have informed the Social worker about his actions. Let her deal with it, that's her job. You need to know that you did everything you could for him, but you are his daughter, period. You can't control his illness, you can't treat it, you can't cure it. Doesn't mean you don't care. Most important is you take care of you and your safety. Hugs and Love, Michele.

I agree with everyone here, have someone else pick him up, and you do what you need to do to stay safe. Doesn't mean you don't care, or don't love, but you need to take care of yourself. I hope you live in another home, if he does call you and seems to be very angry I would call the police and just tell them you are worried about him, and to please go check on him, maybe you will get lucky and have another witness to his behavior. Good luck and stay safe! Hugs Katrina

I'm going to echo what the previous posters have said.
Please stay away!
I hope you don't live in the same house with him. If so, get out!
I worked in mental health for years. It's very hard to prove someone is incompetent. And it's sad that this country is so lacking in psychiatric care and nursing home beds.

I would call the local police department, and tell them about the weapons in the home and your father's mental illness.

Keep yourself at a distance, and stay safe!

This is what I decided to do: I went to his house and got his extra key and made the house easy for him to get into. I talked to the next door neighbor and told him the situation, mental illness and all. I called my relatives and gave them the update. I told everyone that I was walking away as dad is now competent.

Everyone has been the target of his anger. But it was me who kept him calm by sticking around and being his number one victim. I told everyone that this will no longer be the case, meaning he will be seeking victims.

I decided not to pick him up. I told the social worker that this is her responsibility if she wants him released. They're hiring a service to take him home.

I was out walking the dogs when the call came about dads release. Social worker left a message saying he was competent. I've saved the message, mailing it to two email addresses. I've told the social worker that I will use this as proof if something happens.

I visited my dad and gave him the key and his wallet. I told him I will not be around as I was dealing with a health issue I need to resolve. I told him that I was happy that he was now back on his feet and able to take care of his own life and now I was going back to mine. He seemed okay with this and didn't ask questions.

Finally, I agreed to keep his dog. He said he thinks the dog is happier with me and asked me to do it. As it is a financial hardship, I told him that he will be responsible for providing support for his dog and that anytime he wanted him back to let me know. I did this because I know he is attempting to control me by using the dog. His next step would have been to threaten to take the dog. Now, I've shut that down. Honestly, I'm not to happy about having two dogs. Years we had agreed that I would get the dog now and then so that people would see that I wasn't alone and had a canine protector. This was right after I lost my husband. And there had been a break-in in an apartment down the street for me. My dad refused to let me have the dog even for a day. So here we are. By the way, I'm the technical owner of the dog as I purchased him when I lived there.


In reality, I was bracing myself for this moment. I'd tried to get him committed a few years back and was told nothing could be done unless he agrees to an examination. Of course he refused.

In a time not far away the laws will change. They'll change because they'll have to deal with the largest population of older people the world has ever seen. Once they get a look at us baby-boomers walking down the street, singing old Led Zepplen songs as we hit people up-side the head, they will do something.