It is good that your son and his wife are helping. It will help them ...to be able to help you. But I understand your feelings. When you are in the hospital, you just want total privacy and intimacy. Which only your husband can give you. I miss that relaxed place too. At least we were able to stay with our husbands through the medical stuff. Let this surgery remind you of the wonderful gift you gave your husband - you were there for him always. You are alone now only because he was able to have you to the end.

What a sweet point of view, icezam19! Thanks for those comforting words!
Kathleen

That special person who has been by your side from marriage day to when they left: I believe having them there during the tough times makes the best times better BUT now when they are gone the struggle times seem harder.

But medical surgery is a tough one alone - thats not pity, thats true emotional feelings as a human. I too am glad you have your son & his wife....

Wishing you well and back healthy....A Big Hug

first all the best for your surgery but even though Joe isn't there physically he will be with you by your side on shoulder whispering encouragement into your ear and the main thing he is still in your heart he is always with you just not the same.. icezam19 said you gave him the best gift you could have ever given him during his lifetime. I'm happy to read your son is going to be with you and his wife how wonderful for him.. Sad our dynamics of our lives change.. You have a loving son who is an extention of his Joe..
I've had many abdominal sugeries.. your best friend is a pillow.. have one close by to press into your stomach if you have to cough or lean your stomach into a wall.. My MIL who was an RNA told me this trick and it works.. also in bed if you are laying on your side tuck that pillow under your tummy it helps with pressure.. Wishing you all the best and praying for a good outcome and will say a prayer and think of you on Thursday.. hugs..

Hope it all goes quickly, and you will be well soon. Expressing fear is healthy, and certainly understandable. We all wish you speedy recovery. Vicki

Kathleen,
Wishing you a quick, (and with minimal discomfort), surgery and recovery.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but, always remember Joe is with you still. Just as your heart beats, he is with you.

Comforting, that the first 2 days you will have loved ones looking out for you.
Is it possible to have someone else come and stay when you get home? Or even,just come check, a couple hours a day? A friend, a neighbor, or a possibly a health aide?

Remember the strength of your love, because, Of course, Joe will be with you:)
I am praying, and sending you many hugs.
Debi

Wishing you a speedy recovery.....and a word of advice. When you get up out of bed, turn over on your side facing the edge of the bed first. Hold a pillow against your belly and then sit up. Easiest way to do it.

Thanks for all the good encouragement and advice. I feel better now with a little knowledge tucked under my belt, under my pillow! Joe would thank you profusely for helping me.

I am sure that his spirit will be with you. Much love. Judith

My heart and prayers go out to you.
I feel the same way .... I was there for Bob 24 /7 thru the 15 month battle with cancer.... and now... who will be there for me if and when I need someone??? I would be just like you.... having my own little pity party also.
I pray the surgery will go super well... and thank God your son and d.i.l. will be there for you. I am hoping that they will stick around if you should need additional help.
Great advice from DS'ers about the pillow.
May God bless you and bring you His peace and restore you to good health quickly . Blessings, Linda

I will send up a prayer for peace and a quick recovery for you. I know this has to be very difficult for you. I would be feeling exactly like you. ~Blessings Debbie

I recently had out-patient surgery and it was very emotional for me. Just one more thing that isn't the same without my husband physically here.

Thank God, though, for family. My niece (my medical advocate) took me the morning of my procedure, and my sister spent the night with me.

I wish you were closer and I would help you. I am a retired nurse and it would be good to help someone. I am so glad your son will be with you the day of surgery and his wife will be with you the day after. Is it possible that he stay with you for a few days? I am sending you my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery, hugs Lu Ann

Wishing you well and chiming in with a ditto on the pillow advice. I know you will be fine with all the prayers and good wishes coming your way. Having any family with you is a bonus. Do what the doctor says and recover quickly and check in with us when you are able.
Hugs

fran

Yes! The pillow! It really is a godsend! I had abdominal surgery years ago and MAN that pillow helped!

Sometimes the lonely moments are hands-down worse than others, no doubt. And this one is a real toughy, for sure. I ask that you remember one thing (and it's something I remind myself of daily)...

Your husband will never completely leave you. There will be a part of him with you, inside of you, protected from anything and everything separate from you, for eternity. It was the gift that he left you for moments such as this. Let the love that he infused in you comfort you and carry you in the coming days.

icezam went and made me cry.

HUGS!!

Kiki