Hi Mary, I have felt like that many nights. I miss my husband just "being here". Never mind all the special things he did for us or for me....I just miss his "being". Hugs, Sable

I'm sorry, Mary...I have been feeling that exact same way since the night my husband passed away, every night. And now we might have another major problem. I was looking at my son, and he has a black circular indentation near his hairline. I've seen that before, and I am taking him to the doctor on Wednesday. But I am terrified. He's autistic, and likely won't allow the doctor to touch it, let alone have a biopsy done. He's non verbal, so I can't really explain it to him. At 19, he's already been through so much in his young life...heart surgery at 6 days old, cardiac arrest at 14, losing his dad a few weeks ago, and now he might have cancer? It so unfair, and right now, more than ever, I wish my husband was here to comfort both of us. (Sorry, I didn't mean to let it all out like that)...I hope you have a better day tomorrow...hugs and prayers, Wendi

Yes, those times come. I'm always surprised when I'm feeling so very sad that I actually want my mother to comfort me! It has been an extremely long time since she was able to do that, but it seems that when I am feeling especially bad, I almost feel like a child again. Really strange I know but I've never been accused of being normal! LOL Big hugs to you. Darlene

Been feeling the same way lately. It comes in waves and we just have to ride them. Tough days though

Hi Mary, I certainly have no words of wisdom for you, but do know I was in that same place yesterday all day. Could not stop crying. Just longed to hear his voice and feel his touch. They say it gets easier in time. But does that mean since we were together forty years it will take forty years to feel better? I can barely remember him not being in my life. seems like it was high school, met him, we got married. So how do we become something other than a couple?. Am trying harder each day as we all are. Took an on line quiz to see how much longer I would live. ha ha it said 40 more years. No way! I will start sky diving, baseline jumpin, you name it. No way I want to live til 109. Wouldn't even have to jump. Scared to death of hights, so would have a heart attack first! ha ha Hope your day goes better tomorrow!! hugs and hugs

I wouldn't take the results of those quizzes to heart...I took one three times in a row, giving the exact same info each time...and got 3 completely different answers...one said I'd live to 84, another said 46, and the last one said that I had already died last year...

Oh Loveddogs..... You could of not summoned it up any better...
Since Larry & I were married 38yrs, does that mean it takes 38yrs
to feel better.....

I so miss the hugs/kisses & his voice calling me Babe....
Even after a year, the pain the pain is still so raw...........

heh I once programmed a longevity prediction application for a client in the UK, it was based on actuarial data from the UK, but it was rubbish. You can deduct risk factors like smoking or diabetes, but nobody can predict how long you will live.

I'm 56 and I will probably live another 25 years or so. My mom died at 82, but she was sick with Lyme's disease which damaged her kidneys and dialysis was the beginning of the end, she might have lived longer.

I miss Arlene terribly. Our daughter came over last night and we went through her jewelry and things. There's so much stuff, she will have to come back. We chuckled when something we found reminded us of how "Arlene" she was. It was bittersweet.

I have tried to look at my life with perspective. I was 25 years old when I met Arlene, then we were together for 30 years. Now, I'm in a third phase without her beside me. I recall that I lived without her for a long time before we met. It's different now. I guess I never "defined" myself through our relationship, it was something we shared, and we had our own interests and things too. Oh I miss her.

Maybe I will find a new love, someday? I took a quiz to find out how many soulmates there are for me in greater NYC. I answered questions about my age, whether I cared about education, sharing values, even looks. It told me there are 200 soulmates out of millions of people. That sounds about right, even though it was a silly quiz. I'm not looking. One day, I might meet someone who makes me feel good. Meanwhile, I have so many things to deal with.

We go to sleep alone and we wake up alone and in between we feel vulnerable and scared and lonely. It's not easy for sure. I am there too.

We have to give into these feeling sometimes. Its a way to process the grief we are feeling. I am with you, I miss my husband he was the centre. Better day tomorrow. Hugs Patti

I hope you have a better day today. Seems we must wear these feelings long and hard, until we know again the only way forward is one more baby step. My husband knew me well too, knew to invent a project and help me play with the power tools. Once he just looked at me and said, 'you want me to go buy the shoes for you'.
Hugs,
Jean

Mary, you expressed it so well. RHYTHM....we meld into each other so easily.

Every day was a dance, it was easy, we knew each others likes and dislikes....we knew how to push each others buttons and we knew what that crooked smile and raised eyebrow meant!

It's all gone......the magic and easiness of each day. The secret of our love was ours to know and keep. He didn't have to say much to make me happy and joyful.....and, it's gone, it's whispers on the wind.....GONE!

I understand,
Roz