So yesterday I hit 10 months. And it's weird how just becuse my brain pin points it as another marker in time you feel it everywhere. I even felt it coming a few days before. Not like any other day is less painful, but each month on the day it's like I'm not even myself... I mean I haven't felt like myself since I lost him, but the past few days I'm not even what's left of myself. I've been snapping at my family and spacing out and feeling like just getting away, all by myself and not telling anybody where I'm going not answering my phone. I swear if I wasn't so worried about taking care of my mom or losing my job I wouldn't even think twice about it. I feel like a little kid wanting to run away from home. Not like that fixes anything.
Anyway, I don't watch Glee but when I heard about Cory Monteiths death this summer for some reason it struck a nerve. Maybe because he was 31 like Wayne was? Or maybe because I know first hand how horrible it was for his girlfriend. Anyway, I couldn't help but be curious about the memorial episode. It was really good, and so familiar. The song choice was beautiful, but really hit hard cause the very first song was a song Wayne Loved! It was so weird. It was so emotional and just too close to reality.
I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.