Thanks, Ted...:)

And Shrn, I did the same thing...separate checks, cars, etc...lol!...but, I had a sneaking suspicion HE wanted it to be a date...I still remember telling my sis-in-law..."OMG, I *think* I have a date with ____ _____!!"
I was as nervous as a teenager...(my sis-in-law was very supportive). I mean, after all, I had been married for half my life! Date? How does one do THAT? He and I have talked about a lot of things as we move thru these 'uncharted waters', together.
Having someone love you sure does feel good!
Thanks for this thread, laura...:)

I am only at 13 months, but like the rest I swore there would never be anyone else, but I have come to realize there will never be him again either, not in this life. I could easily be by myself longer then we were married - 30 years. But like many of you, I don't go anywhere to meet anyone, and I'm not ready to venture on my own. I don't ever see myself getting remarried-too many complications, but I also know my feelings, thought and emotions change day to day - sometimes within an hour. I know we just have to take things as they come. But it really does make long, long days to be by yourself 24/7. I know in my heart that I have to be "open" to change, because life is nothing but change and I know what difference a year can make. Wishing everyone luck in which ever way life takes you.

Sharon,
I'm really happy for you and have just recently had a chat with a friend about this subject.
we both said that we couldn't see ourselves with anyone else. Of course it's still early for us, not even a year. But life keeps changing and I always remember me Mom saying "never say never".

I haven't changed my view on dating. I don't want to. But it's only been two months. I do find the idea isn't quite as repulsive as before, but I would only want someone who wants to hang out as a friend. A sort of brother type. I couldn't imagine romance and marriage is just way off my radar.

I'm into my 13th month - the thought of dating doesn't even come to mind. Even though this isn't the life I chose (none of us did), I am very content being on my own and involved with many activities, traveling and socializing with good friends. My calendar looks like a train wreck.

My DH was a unique, special man as I am sure yours were also. For me, I've spent 38 years with the prime cut. Anything else would just be hamburger.

Being an independent person all my life anyway, I've discovered that losing my husband has intensified my independence two-fold.

It's only 5 months for me. I am very lonely but for Rob. Other people do take some time up and I can enjoy company but I always have Rob's memory in between. He was my prince charming. Don't imagine dealing with Frogs or kissing one to see if they turn into a prince. A Frog is a frog. To each their own, whatever road you take is ok and if you know that's what you want good for you and luck with that. Donna

I know that after 5 years Ruth would expect me to be moving on. In fact she is probably watching me now laughing at me.

I just don't feel ready yet!

Have read all the posts. I find all the posts very interesting. We are all at different stages so there are going to be lots of opinions. I think about dating someone at times dinner, conversations with someone other than children and sisters family. Don't get me wrong love having children and other family it is just not the same. I know there will never be a Harvey we were soul mates, not looking for another soul mate just someone to talk to and lean on if I have to. Is that asking for to much?

Yes, I have changed my mind about dating; I am open to just about any activity or just hanging out and lets not rule out romance. We seem to be on the same page about the re-marriage thing, it is complicated so we are going to have to see how things go before we start thinking about sharing beds and bank accounts. Im not saying rule it out, its just there is a lot more to consider now than the first time I got married thirty years ago. There is one other little thing to consider and thats the fact we live several hundred miles apart. If our activity is going out on my wifes boat you would need to come here, but I am open to coming to your part of the country I would just need to take a day or three off work.

Anyway it will be nice to meet you and we can talk about the love of our lives and what it was like to have a happy marriage with a tragic end. I hope everything is ok with you and I pray you have a good day.

Hugs,
Ron

Hey Laura; not sure I have changed my mind but I certainly have opened it up to the possibility of another relationship. It would be nice to skip the dating part and just go right into the "I am comfortable with you, let's go have a beer" stage.
I always thought that I was too young to live my life alone and as Mike was sick for a few years before his death I missed doing loads of "normal" stuff with him.
Think my time is coming soon and I will try my best not to judge, compare or expect too much too soon.
My 2 cents, Cindy xxoo

It is barely going to be one year for me in July. I miss my husband so much and everyday that goes by I seem to love him more and more. At this moment I don't think I am ready to start a new relationship because it would not be fair to the other party involved. My heart belongs to Carlos. Like I have told my children and relatives at this precise moment in my life I cannot see myself in a relationship but I don't know what the future holds. I think as time goes by each one of us will make the decision that best suits us. To all of you who have found that special someone again, God bless you and I wish you all the best, and to those who are still in pain and longing for DH, I ask that God gives us strenght to continue this journey and find happiness in whatever we choose to do. Hugs Linda

Just a little bit of clarification here to some of you who thought I meant that I am ready to go out and look for a new man. Actually, I was merely speaking in generalities about the fact that I can envision dating at some point in the future, if I happened to meet someone and the opportunity presented itself. I am by no means intending to out and join a dating group or to actually look for someone at this time. Sorry for any confusion. laurabp

It has been almost 4 years for me and I don't ever want to be with anyone but my husband. we were together too long and he was the only person I ever dated. I don't like being alone but I know he is always with me and is waiting for me. I am too old at this point to think about that and I don't ever want to be hurt like that again and if I didn't risk getting hurt I wouldn't really care about anyone else so I'll just stay a lonely widow with dogs. I don't mind being the dog lady. Janet

Well, it's only been 7 months, but I don't feel like I ever want a serious relationship again. It hurts too much to lose them, for one thing. I sure didn't choose it, (his passing), but it is what it is. I have kind of carved out a new life for myself, have had lots of changes, including retiring, being diagnosed with cancer and had a hysterectomy. Not all fun; retirement is, and that decision was not health related. I would so love it if my DH were here to share all of this with me, especially to support and advise me about my health decisions, but he is not, so I have to go it on my own. In spite of everything, though, I find that I am actually enjoying my independence now, and I don't know if I would be willing to give that up. I'm selfish, I guess, but I don't want to have to consider someone else's needs, preferences and opinions again. I can do whatever; stay up until the wee hours, fall asleep in my chair, come and go when I want, and I like it. Maybe ths sounds cold or uncaring; given the choice, of course I would want him back; but since that is not a choice, I am forging on with my "new" life.

I know this may sound bad, but I have spent most of the last year and a half socializing with women, working with women...I like to talk to a man from time to time...but have not dated yet, since I don't want to bring any drama into my son's life. Once he is a little more independent I think I will try dating.