Got home early today. Figured I'd get in a good workout. Imagine walking into your dark house and thinking someone else is there. That's what happened to me. All's well, but my legs are still shaking.

Here's what happened:

I have a bird. The little fellow is about three years old and likes to sleep in a tent at the bottom of his cage. The tent looks exacltly like one but this one has a cushioned fake fur bottom and sides. Anyhow, I got home and called out to him as is our custom. He always answers by saying hi or something like that. This time, however, he was quiet. I didn't think anything of it as it was dark and figured he was asleep in his tent. Five minutes later I went into the den where I keep him and he was not in his cage. I checked all the locks and no way he could have gotten out. Which means.....someone took him. Except the house looked untouched. I called for him, looked inside his tent again, looked all over the floor of the cage. Nothing.

Now, no one has a key to my house except my stepdaughter and she and her family would tell me if they were coming over and no way would they come and get the bird. Which leads to....someone took him and maybe they're still in the house with me.

Okay, I said to myself, don't panic. Who'd come in for a bird? Who'd come in and take nothing else? Except I have nothing else of value and there have been bird-nappings at that pet store down the street. So, I'm thinking it's possible, though kind of stupid. Still, the bird is not here, so what other explantion is there?

I'm a brave woman, I told myself. And I've been here five minutes, so if the criminal were still here, wouldn't I be attacked by now? I thought.

That's when I got real brave or stupid. I got my ADT alarm button and walked around checking the closets and basement. No one there.

I then came back up to the den and started looking in the cage again. It's double locked, a special conure proof lock. 'Cause conures are good escape artist, but not that good. I was looking at the original locked-room mystery here, suitable for Alfred Hitchcock I'm sure.

So, I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and examined the scene of the crime. How could a bird get out of a locked cage? I stuck my hand into the tent, feeling all around. No bird? I called to him. No answer? I looked on the stick, I felt all over the cage again. I pulled that sucker out into the hall, turning on the light. No bird.

Then I called ADT.

I felt real stupid saying, look. I got home and my bird is gone. There's nothing else missing, but that's okay because I don't have anything of value except my bird, of course. Poor criminals were probably desperate when they found out that they'd busted into a home with nothing worth taking except a bird. Probably took him 'cause they were so darn angry.

Anyhow, long story short, ADT had no record of an alarm going off. Which left me with....The Mystery of the Missing Bird in the Locked Bird Cage.

Now, Here I was standing in the den, listening to the ADT guy telling me to call the police. I hang up and another movie comes to my mind suddenly. You know the one where the girl is at home, talking to a stranger who keeps calling....a stranger who eventually tells her he's in her house. A real scary movie, and I start thinking someone could still be in my house enjoying the show. But I had checked every room, I'd looked under the bed, even. So where could anyone hide? And why would they? I'm not some big burly guy that could actually defend myself, am I? Why would someone hide from me, holding a green bird in their hand?

And then it hit me. They could be in the attic. I hadn't looked in the attic. I could practically here the scary Alfred Hitchcock music playing as I looked up in slow motion. And then I thought, you're seriously crazy, Tru. There's no one here and no one broke in and no crazed criminal would be sitting in your attic holding a green bird. In fact, even I can't hold that bird. He bites like a mean buzzard. Practically had to have stiches the last time he got a hold of me.

Boy, did I wish my husband was here to solve the mystery. But I did solve it. Here it is you locked-room mystery fans. How can a considerably sized bird suddenly disappear from a locked cage?

It's simple. He never left. This is what he did:

My good ole bird spent days digging a hole at the bottom of that tent. Once the hole was nice and well shapped, he took his large body and squeezed through that hole, tunneling himself all the way to the side of it, where he flattened his body and remained still.

As for my planned workout---Do you know how long it takes to catch an hysterical, fully-flighted bird through three floors of a townhouse? I'm still catching my breath. So, look out Jillian Michaels of the Biggest Loser, you ain't got nothing on the workout I just had.