I think these feelings are normal. I am taking the kids to Walt Disney World next week. We planned this vacation last summer together. My husband couldn't wait to go and have fun with the kids. We will do it without him, and I feel so sad to be going on this trip. But, I know he would want me to do it. I hope that you are able to have fun and know that your husband is with you in a special way. I think my husband will be with us. Hugs to you today, Dawn

I am going on vacation soon and all ready I am feeling hesitant about flying. I never felt this way before so I do not understand it myself. I traveled always with my husband and even after 20 months it seems strange he is not here to travel with me. I am surrendering the anxiety to the Lord, knowing He will take care of me..... I would just calk the feelings you are having up to grieving your loss. It seems strange to set out on our own after we have been a we for so long. I pray you enjoy the time with your family.
Hugs,Helen

I'm going up to Northern Wi with all our kids 2nd week of august. It was "our" time every year. We are going to release him to the waters he loved so much this time.

I am already thinking about it so much, and the feelings are overwhelming to say the least. I am determined though to have a good time with the kids, Look at that Wi moon, shed alot of tears, and know that when I see that moon, or our kids having a great time, that he'll be there in spirit seeing it all right along with me.

I hope the cruise is a WONDERFUL happy one, and I believe that your love will be seeing it through your eyes and heart too!

Go and have a GREAT time...for both of you!!!!

Diane

Ahh a vacation...I want one so bad. But I don't want to travel alone. I hope you have a great time and remember he is always with you.

My husband had a favorite trip - LasVegas - LA - up highway 1 to SF (where his aunt & only relative lived) - thru Yosemite - back to LV. He took this trip once before we were married, once the 2 of us alone, then once with the kids (ages 2, 7 & 9). After he died I decided to take the trip again with my kids and mother - regardless of the money. The anticipation and hopefulness of the trip is what got me through those first 6 months. I had something to look forward to - even if he could not be there with me. I have always hated to fly - so much so that when I was 22 I took a train from Chgo to Mexico then 38 hour bus ride thru Mexico to get to Mazatlan. Now - I was no longer afraid to fly - what's the worst that could happen? I had a wonderful time. Do not feel guilty - this is your short break from the rest of all you're going thru.

Here's what's interesting - after he died someone asked me if we had a song and what came to mind was "Total Eclipse of the Sun" bc the video played over and over again on TV while we were on our honeymoon in Mexico. After he died I got a CD with the song & I played it over and over in the car. So on the flight to LV I wondered if my husband was aware of what we were doing. A movie is played on the flight - a song in the movie? - "Total Eclipse of the Sun" - I've never heard it in any other movie. I took it as a sign for us - somehow. I hope you can put your anxiety aside and have a good time.

Hi! It does seem strange to think of doing fun things at a time when we are experiencing probably one of the most, if not THE most, time of sorrow. Before Nick died he shared with me that he expected me to & wanted me to enjoy life. He & I stayed positive that he was going to live even though the odds said otherwise. Nick loved life & did not waste a minute of it. I am sure that if your husband could, he would give you a great big hug and tell you "Go on, honey, if you want to go. I can't be there with you but I want you to go. I want you to live life to the fullest. Go on the cruise. See some wonderful places. And, above all, don't feel guilty." I am sure he would tell you that. I imagine it will be hard without him on the cruise. But if you are up to going get out there & do it! You are young and alive. Do your best not to waste those two gifts. I give you my very best wishes and am so sorry that your husband cannot be with you. Darlene

Enjoy your cruise! Yes, there may be some tears -- probably when you are alone, but you can also have a good time. Being with family will help, even though you will miss your husband ~~ that goes w/o even saying.

My 3 children, their spouses, and 4 grandsons went on a Caribbean Disney Cruise -- left on the date of Joe's death (my birthday). We decided -- before we left that we WOULD have a good time. We knew that Joe would have had a great time, so, we enjoyed the cruise. (yes, I shed some tears on my private balcony
and that was ok too.)

So, I know you can do this. We all have some "guilt" at times, but, I have also found that guilt is a wasted emotion. It certainly doesn't make one feel better and the situation doesn't change with guilt. (but, we still have it). I am learning to let those feelings go from things that I cannot change. You can too.

HAVE FUN!

Joely

We left on the first anniversary of Joe's death. I didn't make that clear! It had been a year on the day we left on the cruise.

Beauty is healing. You will see new places, colors, smells, hear some music, consider this being replenished with the vibrancy of life. Enjoy being surrounded by warmth of the loved ones whom you are blessed to have. Bon voyage!

just got back from a week in Fla. My sister invited me to go with them. I know what you mean about feeling guilty. I did have a good time though, but was very hard to come home, knowing Bob would not be here waiting for me. His daughter met me at the house when I got home, so it made it a little easier but still had a very tearfull night.

nan

I was about 8 months into being a widow when I took a trip out of town with my sister. Everywhere I went, I thought "Cliff would have loved this." I cried a lot in the hotel room. The lesson I learned that weekend was that the grief was going to be with me wherever I went - it was not something I could leave behind. I should have planned better, but what did I know at that stage??

Sometimes it helps just having something of his to take with you, so that symbolically at least he is going with you. It might also be a good opportunity to do some journal writing. My guess is that you will have a lot of mixed emotions pop up, and writing them in a journal may help you release them.

For a long time, wherever I went, I had the "Cliff would have loved this" thought. Then one day, there was live music across from where I worked. I thought "I wish Cliff could be here - he would have loved to see this." Then I was struck with the thought, "Hang on, he's got the best seat in the house!" (in Heaven). From that point on, I felt that he is free to be wherever and whenever he wants to be, although he can't be with me physically. I pictured him free and happy. That helped. May sound weird, but it really helped.

I hope you enjoy the trip. Love and Hugs, Martha

It is hard going anywhere ..doing anything... making memories without your loved one ( i know) but you know that he loves you and those babies and wants you all to have fun. While i say those words to you i am having the same issue but just know that we are all here for you ! It is the hardest thing that i have ever done...if you need to talk i am here

Yep, I know just what you mean. I went to Sanibel with my sister the end of June. It was such a needed break for me! I really had fun just relaxing and regrouping. But there was a twinge of pain at night when she would call her hubby to tell him what we did that day...I really wanted to grab my phone and call Mike....
and I did take along 'little Mike' a stuffed elephant I bought him the last time he was in the hospital...he travelled with us and I even took pics of him at various spots...Mike would have gotten a kick out of that!
Enjoy your time away...expect some tears...but know that you are loved. Jill