Almost 7 months into this journey and I can say I do have good days. Days with out tears not yet. I miss my husband dearly. I have a few friends that invite me places and am thankful for the distractions. Yesterday I called in sick  to work got a touch of a flu bug or who knows may have had to much wine. But knowing that I am alone and he is not here to take care of me even if you go get me some 7up it was real. I am ALONE!  So in need of the 7up I got in my car and the get oil changed soon light came on. Found a place to get the oil changed because the place we normally have it done could not get me in for another week. The gentleman asked me what kind of oil I use I just had a melt down then and there I had no clue. This was Jim's department. I hate bring up the widow card but when you in that breakdown situation it just needs to be said. Thankfully I remembered the number of the regular place and called them to ask.  I was never needy when my husband was here. We always helped each other out. Now I just feel defeated. Yesterday was not a good one.