It is interesting how much my life seems to mirror yours. I to am an only child and we also did not have children. I have next to no family and my husband was not terribly close to his family. We were everything to each other leaving me now to feel like I have lost the best part of me. Sleeping has been hard for me since Randy died. I am lucky that I can adjust my work hours most of the time to my sleeping.

I wish I knew what Betty White's secret was. It does seem as if she has made a wonderful life for herself. I would love to feel that happy again. The best I can do tonight is wish you and all the rest of the insomniacs out there a peaceful nights sleep.

Me too! No children. Not especially close to my step son. I have one brother many states away. My husband's family is great but they live on one side of the continent and me one the other. Dan was my best friend. We didn't go out with other couples or socialize much. We were happy with each other's company. I believe Betty White is a very active advocate for animals. Doing something for others is said to be its own reward. I need to get myself going in that direction.

We have even more in common, Porchpuppy. My husband wasn't close to his family either.

I'm don't have insomnia, however. I'm a natural night person who has spent my life trying to fit into the day world. Been like this all my life. I actually studied it when I was in nursing school. It seems night-owls circadian rhythms is different, triggering sleep later. I normally sleep from 4 in the morning to 12 noon. I'm active at night, cooking, cleaning, doing everything day people do. I've tried hard to fit into the day world, but it only works if I try very hard. Now, with everything happening, it's difficult if not impossible. Most people like me end up sleep deprived. I've always sought work with odd hours, even requesting a midnight shift in my younger days. Now there is even a movement to accept people like me. Crazy thing, isn't it?

Truhal...It appears we have one more thing in common - I am also a nurse though I never liked night shift but worked it many years. Lately though I tend to fall asleep when I see the sun. I never thought I would go back to those hours. You never know what curves life will throw you.

I actually ended up dropping out of nursing school. It was just too stressful. I started getting sick and finally lost my vision. That was it for me. I can see now, but not normally.

Hi Truhal, sorry you are having trouble sleeping. That is the common MO or denominator to those who loose their loved ones. I would sleep a few hours in the wee hours of the morning then have to get up and go to work after being off a month after Robert passed away. Even with working and I am a nurse like Porchpuppy and have worked those off shifts but now have a 9am -5:30pm in a clinic associated with a major medical center. I am an only child and Robert did not have many friends because he had been out of work for a great deal of time and was disabled before he passed away. I have many friends and do have my two sons which I did not know how thankful I was to really have them when Robert passed away. It is touch to feel like one is alone in the world, but re-defining oneself is what needs to be done at this stage. Will power and determination and we can all get through this and become and even stronger person. Good luck to you Truhal and the rest of us.

this is great

I always liked the evening hours to have the house quiet and read or to work. My favorite shift was 3-11PM. but was mostly days in the ED. I retired and worked part time at a nursing home, but left to care for Don. Haven't worked since, and don't miss it. I still end up awake til 2 or 3AM and arise at 10+

I'm older than you, but with age I get more independant and do as I please. The sleep deprivation gets better as time goes by. Sharon

I had to comment here. The lady next door looks like Betty White, but she hates animals...and kids. Maybe just mine. :)

It has to be hard for some of you not having children. Mike keep me grounded.

Maggie

Love her too...and have thaought about her circumstances..................glad to have pets in my life.....

Betty White is an exception to most every rule!! She is too funny and cute to be in her 90's now. Always liked watching her in whatever she did.

It must be very hard on you not having any close family, or children. Maybe, you and the step daughter could get together more and it would help both of you. Of course, I don't know your relationship.

Wishing you the best Holiday season you've had in a while.
Hugs, Joely

Setting the record straight, not having children was a decision I made years ago. I knew the day would come when I would be old and perhaps want a child. I spoke to my mother about it, researched it, and decided what would be best for me. As my mother said, having a child does not insure that there will be someone there for you when you get old. In fact, she pointed out how many are placed in nursing homes by their kids. So, I decided I'd rather make my sacrifices at the end of life than at the beginning as those with children were required to do. Also, I felt it unfair to have a child simply so they could care for me in old age.

I spent my youth traveling, sipping wine as I sailed down this or that river, looking at the sunset over the nile valley, enjoying the cuisine of Paris, and then I got married and continued to travel. I know the life I lead would not have been possible with children.

Now, I'm at the end of life(or closer to it). It is now time to deal with the decisions I made in my youth. My step-daughter and I are as close as some mothers and daughters and she and I consider me the grandmother to her two beautiful daughters. In short, I feel that I am blessed and it's mostly because of them. They are here visiting or just a phone call away. Still, just like any daughter, she has her own life. I don't want her sitting here with me when she has her own little family. It is her time now. So, I deal with the issues facing a single woman--issues that I would have even if I had kids.