Hi Duchess. I know it is hard. We've all either been there or are where you are now. We just get through it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Believe me, you will reach a point where you can feel it coming on, and get to a place of solitude. And then later, you will be able to delay the wailing some and choose the time and the place. But right now for you, there is no delay and there is no choosing of the when. It is a truism that we have to go through it to get through it. Grief is going to do what grief wants, not what we want. It is the cost we pay for having known such great love. And I for one would never ever trade my 30 wonderful years with the love of my life for anything. Hang in there. There will come a good day for you in the midst of many bad ones. And then another, and another. It just takes time and lots of it. ~~~ Scottie

If you do find a way please post it, being male and a Jedi master in public control I can keep it semi-together during those meltdowns. Keeping Sunglasses ready and looking down are my fall back. My living situation is same as yours, just me and an old cranky cat. Grief groups are a good place to let it all out and drain that pool of pain.

Going out can be a challenge, at least in the beginning of this grief pathway. I would try to avoid any resemblance of my old life, places, friends, anything that would trigger tears. Probably was a mistake as I look back on it. Had to face my old life sooner or later and when I finally did go familiar places, it became less and less tearful. Literally forced myself to do it. I could easily turn out the world for days, right or wrong it was what I did. Gradually it became easier and it will for you too. Maybe take a trusted friend with you, one who doesn't judge or criticize as that is the last thing we need. Wish you peace. Jan.

I'm so sorry. It's just three months. It seems we have to go with it for as long as it takes. till there aren't any more tears. It's different for every one. Some of us have had to get busy . I went to a part time job and thought I had things under control. I found myself in back of the shop crying again and realized it was eight months but continued for another few months crying till the days started to get better and they did. Take small trips. Don't stay out too long. Try to get used to the different way of life. Treat yourself the best you can. buy yourself flowers. Take care......., We care. Love and Hugs, Dolores

As others have shared it does take time. Myself I have finally, after 3 months, gotten to where I can go out for short peiods, sometimes alone, but I still have to force myself. It was betterwhen I was working since that kept me out in the world 5days a week. Now it is harder but I think I am finally getting better about it. You will too as more time passes. You will begin to see that there is more to come!

I was the Queen of crying in my car for a long time. I couldn't bear being home alone so I retuned to work after 3 weeks. I would cry most of the drive to and from work. I would cry in church, on planes, in stores. Never complete meltdowns but I would wipe my tears and head for the car if I could. I just cried through my life until finally I could get through a day without the tears and awful physical pain. However it works best for you is fine. Be kind to yourself. Of course we cry, who wouldn't? But time does help. Take care. Marybeth