Well, I'm at 2 years and made the decision early that I had way too much life to live and did my best to get on with living. No easy task, but the right decision for me. I've learned a great deal about myself, made some changes for the better. But bottom line is I don't do well without a committed relationship. Truth be told, I need to be with a best friend in the world because I don't do well on my own. I'm way too compulsive, way too daring, way too transparent, and way too much a space cadet whose memory for mundane details escape my notice. I'm a ceiling bouncer, and I require someone who brings balance into my life. This is me. That is not to say that I don't totally get anyone who has no desire to ever date again, and certainly not entertain ever having another great love with anyone else. Why should you? Not a one of us could ever find again what we had with the person no longer with us. Can't happen because every love is as unique as the two people involved. And if you find that the love you had is all you need to sustain you the rest of your days, I think that's wonderful and a very beautiful thing. Just live each day as it comes, find whatever brings you peace, joy and contentment. What a wonderful way to live out our days. All any of us really have is just a blink of an eye. We've done our part when we make the most out of it by our choice -- and sometimes doing absolutely nothing is making the most out of our life for us when that brings us the peace, joy and contentment I speak about. Remember, time of grief is different for all of us. No rights. No wrongs. Thanks for sharing. ~~~ Scottie

My husband died 2 months ago, after a very long hard fought battle with multiple health issues. I've had other people close to me that died after long illnesses, and when it happens, it's not that you don't grieve their death, but it is actually a relief and blessing that they are no longer in pain. I have also had others close to me die suddenly, without a chance to say goodbye. In my experience, the sudden death is harder, for example, when I was 20, my dad died suddenly and unexpectantly, at work and it was hard to get closure and move along the grief continuum. We knew that my husband was declining. He was hospitalized in mid January, and in early February, we were told that there was no cure or treatment and that there would be no positive outcome. We made a choice to put him on comfort cares. My husband had a strong faith, and believed that he would transition to a better place, and his body would be whole again. He knew it was the right thing, but he was apprehensive because of his concern for me. So I had to assure him that it was okay that I would be okay. What I'm getting at is that just maybe your husband would have the same opinion, and that it would be a an honor to him and your marriage to continue on. Your husband wouldn't want you to grieve forever or have your life on hold. If the shoe was on the other foot, you would want him to move on.

Jeannie, I know sleeping is an escape, but it is a depressing way to live your life. The scripture also says "slothfulness casts into a deep sleep." In other words the more you sleep the more you want to sleep and feel like you need to sleep and that's a vicious circle. So wake yourself up when you're able. Also sleeping pills are the most dangerous thing you can take I read. Acts 2:38 Acts 22:16 Mark. 16:16

I am so sorry for your loss...I can relate with feeling that emotional rollercoaster. My partner passed away in August of last year, I know all too well about the sleeping my way thru all of this and just wanting to wake up thinking this was all a dream. I too have a job, but it takes everything in me to get ready in the morning and to just start my day. It is always a forced day it seems. I was taking sleeping pills too, switched to Melatonin (natural sleeping aid) which has helped tremendous amounts. Sending you all the love and hugs!

Its been four years since my wife passed away. I too have tried to move forward in this life I now live. I have dated and through no fault of the people I dated I could not hold onto any lasting relationship, I guess I simply am not ready to move that far ahead in this life, and although I try not to compare, there have been moments where it does come to mind, and I become distant, withdrawn from the person I was dating at the time, and then I don't think that is good for either of us, and eventually the relationship fades away.

I know I will always love my wife, but I am not sure if I can find room within this life to even attempt to love anyone again, or at least for now. I am happy for those that have found a love again in their life after losing their partner, and I know of people in my life that have found love again after losing their husband/wife.

Sleep was a big problem for me, and to this day remains so. I can sleep during the night, but if tired during the day I find it impossible to nap, because that is when everything feels so surreal and like a nightmare, like this whole thing is a terrible dream. Maybe over time things will change in that respect, but whilst it happens, and those feelings of deeply missing my wife remain, I have to live with it, and somehow make it through.

Jeannie,
First, I am so sorry for your loss. I certainly can relate to the frustration that you are experiencing. I want to "move on" and start living life again, but I just can't seem to stay on that path for very long. I have had multiple losses since my husband that has hindered my so-called progress. I feel fortunate to have found a therapist who is working with me to find my way. I never imagined that counseling would help, and I resisted the idea until last year. Maybe you would find that helpful. I still love my husband, think of him every single day, and cannot imagine ever loving anyone as much as I loved him. My life turned upside down when he left this earth, and I am still trying to find a purpose for my being here. This is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done in all my 66 years. Roxanne

I think the hardest task to this grief is finding a purpose again, which I have not been able to do. I have no friends or close family left. I have a small dog that I had hoped would help me and God knows I probably would not be here without her, but my life is still full of emptiness. pj1952

I love to sleep. I just hate waking up. pj1952