Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Getting Use to It

Truhal
Truhal
I was watching The Voice tonight--you know the one where these young contestant sing for a record contract. Well, anyhow, there was a song written by Blake Shelton and his wife, Miranda Lambert. It was about the loss of his brother in a car accident. Very heart-felt. Later, I wanted to know what happened to his brother and came across an interview given by Blake's father on the loss of his son. To paraphrase, he said, you never get over it. You just get used to it. Reading that, I realized that maybe my expectations are just too high. I expect to just get over the loss of my husband. But, really the only thing I can expect to do is to get use to his loss.

The name of the song is 'Over You' by Miranda Lambert.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Truhal thanks for writing that information about a song. As for getting used to it, I suppose that is where we end up one day, for now my expectations confuse me as I do not understand all of this yet.
Thanks for sharing and lots of hugs and care to you
and peace of mind may we find enough to make it thru the Holidays....
Take Care, good wishes
Rick
jerseydebbie
jerseydebbie
Thanks for sharing, and Blake's Dad is right. "Getting over it" is a poor phrase to use, and not true. We adapt for there are two choices. You either choose to live or die.

I have learned how to carry it with me and accepted that this is the way I am now. Same Debbie, but different in ways since DH passed.

Hugs for you!
kynessie
kynessie
I watched that performance, but I didn't know who it was about. It was beautiful and she did an amazing job singing it. I cried while she sang. And I think Blake's father is right. You just become adjusted to it. I know I will never get over it.

Nessie from KY
NewRoadsForMe
NewRoadsForMe
I agree. We don't get over it. We just learn to live with it. I wish we all could learn that a lot quicker than we actually do. The period of learning is so long and painful. You are in the company of many, many people who care about you and your sadness! We all have lost so much! Good luck through the holidays!
Nicker07
Nicker07
They sang that song on the country music awards - and she cried afterwards when they got an award for it.

Very touching....and how true huh
nowjustme
nowjustme
I found this statement which I put on my website:

"You dont get over it, you just get through it. You dont get by it, because you cant get around it. It doesnt get better, It just gets different.

what more can we say, it just is.
lucyd1969
lucyd1969
Very touching song.
I found this online and I copied it. This is from a lady who knows about loss,

It has been said that time
heals all wounds, I do not
agree. The wounds remain.
In time, the mind protecting its
sanity, covers them with
scar tissue, and the pain
lessens, but is never gone.
--Rose Kennedy
Truhal
Truhal
They had two beautiful songs on that show. The other one was called Stars. It's about a woman losing the love of her life and now she can't look at the stars because she wonders where he is. She pictures him walking down Heaven's street. Very touching.