Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hello All,
I had a busy day yesterday so I was distracted and did not dwell.
Then today, right from the time I was getting up, I got into a funk.
With the temps cooler, it would have been a discussion with my wife about what to wear while we walked the dog and headed out for the day. I miss her so much. There were a million of those little conversations that are gone now and shoudl not be. She was my person. I need her to be with me.
Why does it hurt so much still? When will it end?
On days like this so far down the road (10 months) I doubt I can make it through the next whatever number of years like this. I have asked this question on the site and of myself many times - Why would I continue to live if this is the way my life will be from now on?
Feeling pretty low and just wanted to vent..
Thank for listening,
joe
I'm sorry you're feeling badly today.
I can relate to the cool day blues. I had a pretty bad one last week.
It was a nice gusty day, like we always loved.
I have been where you are, and sometimes return there.
I didn't want to live, just wanted it over.
I can't say that I "want" to live now. But I can say I don't think about ending it, as often.
It's like every couple months, there's a lightening of the deep sorrow. Sometimes you don't notice it till you realize you've had a nice day.
My husband was my person too.
My heart will never totally heal from this loss.
But it seems, in time, we accept it.
I'm at just over 11 months now.
A lot of the days are full of sadness, but not agony.
I'm sorry you're hurting. I guess we just have to ride out the tough days.
I hope your heart finds some peace today.
I think fall will be hard for many of us.
You're not alone.
Keep talking to us.
Hugs,
Tess
I know just how you feel... out of the blue, something so simple can bring them right back to the forefront of our thoughts....and there we are with that empty, lonely feeling.
I think if truth be known, they never do leave us. She is still with you , watching over you and wishing she could help you with this pain. Try to remember those happy memories that you both did share. I have to wonder, if given the chance , what would she tell you now?
My thoughts and prayers are with you.... and Tess..... and all of us struggling as we face life now alone.
Kim
Thank you for taking the time to reply and thanks also for your kind words of understanding and encouragement.
There is nothing to describe how hard this continues to be and the people around me, other than widowed people, seem to think I am moody or not letting it go....they don’t understand the pain is physical, emotional and physiological. There is no escape nor relief when it hits.
Sharing does seem to help me process and your responses help me gain perspective and to have hope for softening in the future!
Take care,
Joe