Today I went out and found a place to live. This after the second argument before noon. I was just so tired of it all, and finally realized that I was making excuses for my father. I've been doing it all my life.

I moved in because he seemed to be forgetting things. Well, after a few months his memory seems fine, considering his age. Heck, I'm not that great in the memory department myself, lately, but it doesn't mean I have dementia.

I started thinking back, to the hellish life my mother had. To the fact that he does not have one single person who will call him because he's thrown them out of his house, made them feel like dirt.
It's strange that Icouldn't see what been right in front of me all my life. It took a friend of mine to tell me today. He's not sick. He doesn't have dementia, he's just using the possibility to manupulate me. He has done so all his life. My friend also told me that people like that are often angry and want others to suffer also.

Case in point, my stepdaughter was told that she is fat and should do something about it. The poor girl had a baby 9 months ago and set up an infection. She's on a high calorie diet because of it. Doctors orders. Her husband was told the same thing even though he's only 10 pounds overweight.

On my wedding anniversary, I woke up and was immediately told that my grandkids were not welcome her. I've also been told to throw away my clothes as he does not want them hanging in the empty closet downstairs. I've been told that he doesn't want my food in the refrigerator.

For years, I kept these things to myself. But I discovered that he's been calling people, telling them how I'm a lousy daughter. When my husband was alive he told people that he was stealing my money. This in spite of the fact that he never touched a dime of mine and it was my husband, not me, with the money. He threatened to kill my husband when I wanted to move out.

Guys, I'm sharing parts of my life I never thought I could--family secrets hidden for years. And now I know why celebrities do it. You've got to free yourself.

I want to thank everyone here for helping me to do that. It's sad, but it took widowhood for me to see the truth.

I'm waiting for approval on the place. My father insist on keeping the dog so I'll take that as another loss and give him to him. I'd originally bought it for him anyhow. At any rate, he's always treated animals better than people, so the dog will be fine.

I'm asking for prayer on the place. They've got to do some checking before letting me in. Thanks again. If all goes well I can move this month. I'm feeling the freedom already.