Nicker..,

It sounds as though you have good reason to be discouraged, you are being bombarded right now. However, what you have experienced the last few months has proven that '...and this too shall pass.' You've overcome so many obstacles. Take a breath and permit yourself to emotionally lay this aside for a moment. Let your attorney work with the sons, not allowing that responsibility to engulf you.

It's beyond scary when we realize that so many changes take place when we lose our loved one. Our security takes a nosedive, and we feel we need answers to our dilemmas immediately or our minds will implode. In a few months this current problem will no longer be an issue; it's just getting to that point that is so difficult.

Ponder all of the options that you have before you. Is there someone whom you trust that could give you some financial advice? Is there a possibility of renting some space out for pasture/farming/barn space? I'm not sure of how things are set up at your ranch, but maybe there could be some bartering when it comes to repairs. I speak out of ignorance as to what you have already tried, but I am throwing out anything that could help bring the costs of things down.

Do something nice for yourself tonight that will make you feel normal. It's amazing how a little something helps to calm our souls. Blessings to you, and I look forward to hearing how this all gets resolved in ways that maybe you would have never expected. Good things still happen in the world. TJ

When we cope with too much and there are constant chellneges we become overwhelmed and exhasuted. I'm just so sorry you are facing all of this. Gentle ((hugs)) Patricia

I know how you feel about finances. I moved about 9 months ago and have applied and reapplied still no job. Money is very tight so I keep praying something will come along really soon. It is discouraging trying to find a job at my age with all the young people also needing a job.Ir is scary making a go of it alone. I hope things get better for you. Hugs!!!

You are being subjected to several frustrating problems now, so, there are reasons for this feeling of depression.

TJ gave you some good advice, following it can be hard, but, you will get through this. As she said, do something nice for yourself, and try to put everything daunting out of your mind. Relax and enjoy yourself for a time, then, you might see a better solution for yourself. I hope so.

Good thoughts headed your way.

Joely

Nicker, I am also in a tight spot finance wise.
Hang in there. [suggestion: Try for something in communications. They need people as well written and thoughtful as you are.]

Thank You everyone - I had the pastor come over because I was so down and just crying. He told me no wonder w/all thats happened -
Said I needed to ask for help w/some of these things.
First ask for Gods help and trust he will provide it - and look at the facts of what he has provided: Second ask for others help w/all these things happening - he is going to get youth group to help w/putting in new fence posts/hot wiring for me; SO he told me other things I need to ask people to come and help do, quit trying to visualize I am going to do it all - and overwhelming me because to remember I CAN not do any of it - its God who is going to provide it for me to be able to do....So I have to put my faith back into place, and believe.

Hang in there, Nicker. I am also in a state of depression and it sucks big time, so I know exactly where you are coming from. And finances .... worry 24/7... it never stops. I am 52 with no job and no proper qualifications - how does one start over at this age? This is when we should be thinking of getting old and retiring - not starting over and worrying about money all the time. Sometimes I sleep a lot when I should be awake, I think its just to give my brain a rest. I hope you feel better soon and that things get easier for you.
Hugs_Gail xxx

Also feeling quite depressed. Actually was thinking just this morning that i dont know if i can do this much longer. The pain and sadness is more than any one of us should bare. Coming here to realize others travel it and survive gives me some hope for a better day. But today as soon as i get off at 5, I plan to get in PJ's and cover my head until the feeling passes. That was strong of you Nicker07 to reach out for help. That is also a new challenge for most of us.

So sorry to hear of all your problems, but glad you are getting help with them, especially God's help! Something will work out for you, I just know it. What do they say; it is always darkest before the dawn? I hope that is the case for you too.

I have a BS in Range Mgmt, Animal Science but no jobs here & at age 61 in a sev wks getting back on there is like nil,
I was Customer Service Rep for 8 yrs for Tree Top, flew midwest, southwest working w/brokers, warehse, co packing plants,
good data entry on many levels but its like nil ....its scary I thought I w/find something (cashier experience)
I put in for a nearby Ace hardware store - figure they only work til 8 pm so w/not be so bad in winter. Able to work 25-30 hrs so I won't go over the Social Security limit, if I lose it I w/have to wait again til age 65. W/that I think I can make it, if things do not quit breaking down.
@Botsbush This starting over sucks huh? I was making 47,000/yr on my own before I met my husband now I just gring
@TJ the insurance u must carry to do that in WA state is 100,000.
But a friend plans on bringing one horse here.
@slgooch I think the depression can overwhelm u, which is why I called our local pastor I c/not shake myself out of it - usually I can so I am not sure whats going on.
A friend is coming tomorrow to fix the generator oil leak in camper. OH yeah oil all over...so whats next please no more! Does any one else find it amazing they are gone these never happen like this when they were here than its one after the other. I love this area so just want to hang in there & be able to do it.
Thnks everyone you do help