Thank you for the encouragement, it's almost 18 months for me.
I do not see a light at the end of this endless tunnel. It was always just us and our son, who is now grown with a family & life of his own. I am lost without him beside me. Unless I do happen to meet some one I don't think things will ever change.
JoAnn

Thank you thank you this is just what I needed today, the last few days have been so hard , it only been 5 weeks but I really need to hear I will find joy and fulfillment Again, I know its a possibility but hearing someone who has been through this say the words makes me feel so much better. So again thank you.

Thank You, for your very encouraging post......

I will "2nd" the post. It has been 3 years for me and it is in no way like it was during the first year. In the beginning I could not imagine a life without him, I just knew my life was over. It's true that all the hopes, plans, and dreams died with him. But as the advertisers on TV tell you how wonderful their product is and then say, "But WAIT...there's more!" Yes, if we wait and allow ourselves to grieve in our time and our own way, there IS more. Never what we had, but there is more. The love I receive from family, friends, and pets has helped to heal that broken, painful place in my heart. It has scarred over and is not bleeding anymore. I have begun to see the "big plan" God has for me. I thought Joe was my whole world, and really he was when he was alive. But I have discovered, one painful day at a time, that there is still life for me. Not what I wanted,but it is beautiful. It is normal to think there is nothing left in this life when grief is new and seering. But behind our backs God is working to rebuild our lives in different ways and our reward is our place in heaven beside our loved one. Newbies, please hang in there. At your darkest moments, may you remember my words and may they bring you hope.

Thank you New Roads for Me, it means so much to hear there are new beginnings for us. It does my heart good especially when I'm having horrible days to KNOW it will be better, different but ok. So thank you and god bless us all on this journey none us of signed up for.

It IS different but ok. There is still laughter, joy friends.....and still life left over for us to live. I have just past the three year mark, and there IS improvement. I would rather have loved and lost, than never to have known that special love. Grief is certainly the price we willingly pay. All of us, the older hands and the newbies - WE SHALL OVERCOME! (((HUGS TO ALL)))

In another month and one week I will be at the 4 year mark. First I have to say that early on in the back of my mind...(when I regained my mind)... I never ever thought I would make it this far...

My journey has not been like the people's who have found someone else....not like those who have found contentment being alone deciding to never love again, nor like those waiting for the person that God will send that will have to literally drop from the sky into their lap for them to be certain that it is the right one.

Getting to the end of grieving....I now realize has absolutely "nothing" to do with the two factors that we are certain early on it has everything to do with....."time and finding someone else."

You see time alone does absolutely NOTHING! It is the grieving over lots and lots of time that is what heals. Time itself goes by. We are both hoping for time to pass and resentful of time early on. I remember resenting the changing of the seasons because I felt like my life ended....the greyness had taken over my life....I felt lifeless... and "how dare life go on like nothing happened anyway!"

I grieved a LOT!! Just like each of you (I am certain) feels about your love...my hero was the love of my life! He was absolutely amazing and he completed me! We knew and loved each other unconditionally and never tried to change each other. He was imperfectly perfect and to him I was imperfectly perfect. We were human,....but just no one other person in the whole world could do or be us more perfectly than WE could.

I thought that time and loving someone else eventually could heal the grief....wrong...

So at a year and a half I started dating the first man...someone who made me laugh instead of crying so much.

So I felt like an ice cube tray when I was with him. He was such a sweet man too. He fell for me hook...line...and sinker. I dated him at that point because he was safe....I didn't feel anything heavy for him and he was nice and I knew he would respect me. The more he fell for me the more I dragged him through my grief and told him that I didn't feel the same for him. It was like my heart was an ice cube tray and it was slowly melting...but I loved him 30%. I didn't feel capable of anything more than that.

We dated for over a year and I knew that something was so so missing. So I broke up with him and started going out with him like 3 times. We remained friends and he taught me so much about myself. I do not regret our relationship...

I worked through the rest of my (normal grief process) alone. I do believe that we grieve 100% early on...then we get to a point of grieving less and less until we get to a point where we have (mostly) completed our grief process until a certain song...smell...touch...date...sound....brings up our grief once more. It doesn't last very long and we have by then learned how to handle it and accept it as normal knowing it will desolve again into the lives that we now have...

So then I joined a couple online dating sites. I dated a couple people...one for a very short time and one for longer. Still I am only dating and feel like I will know when I have found "the one."

Part of the problem of me finding someone else to spend the rest of my life with is my late husband set the bar really really high. I deserve the very best because I am a one in a million myself.

So...I do find joy in my days now. I do still miss my husband...but it is most often with a smile remembering the good times that we shared together. My life is full....but I do still hope to one day find another one in a million man to spend the rest of my life with.

Yeah....life is never ever the way we envisioned it....and it is "real work" to create a life once more without your other half...but it is well worth rebuilding you and your life....

big (((((hugs))))) to everyone...
-Diana

We are whole and complete now and before we lost or even met our loved ones. I am no believer in the other half. Starting year four, I DO feel better. I will never forget, but I do have my own reserves of strength, my own abilities...I use then still, grateful I could spend 45 years with a companion on my journey through life - secure that we will be reunited in the fullness of time with a love undiminished.

Thanks for your story. I am at seven weeks and a wreck.

Thx for giving us hope. I remember 15 months ago, the first time I posted anything I said that I did not like the memories, that they did not bring me joy or consolation. But now, like you they bring a smile to my face and gratitude for the great gift I had in my marriage. Some people do not get to love like I did or be loved as I was,,,so...it is so good to hear that things get better and we get stronger and that life, though different, goes on joyfully!

It has been 4 years for me. I still miss him alot, particularly when I have to hire and pay a handiman! I miss our daily chats in bed in the morning while viewing the daily News on T.V. I miss picking him up a little surprise when I am out shopping. I eye the mens' clothes at the Mall, it's been so long since I have purchased any!