Welcome to our group- my hubby passed away 2.5 years ago and I still miss him. I like this site because I feel that I can read and relate to others. I am sorry for your loss and post as much as you want- everyone on this site is awesome- they have helped me through the rough times that I go through- no judgment, no criticism just hugs. Take care

Not a one of us that hasn't been where you are right now. Me, I seriously believed that I'd grieve my wife's death for 2 weeks and then I would return to my "normal". May 8 will be 3 years since she went to be with Jesus. I'd say I began to "normalize" about 5 months ago, and certainly have a ways to go. I never experienced anything that undid me as her death. Like you (and practically everyone here), I was a strong person, seemed I could always find a solution, implement and make it happen. Not so with grief. Damn grief runs the show, and you've just got to let it take its course. As they say, You've got to go through it to get through it. No shortcuts. Time seems to be the only thing that has kinda sorta healed me. How long depends on the person. Remember this, there is no right or wrong when it comes to your grief. We all share commonalities, but each person's grief is as unique as the love each of us shared with our true love. You will get through this. We all will. And know we are here to listen to all you want to share. Grief sucks, no doubt. The sooner you just surrender to it, the sooner a very long and painful healing process can begin. Take care of yourself, sleep, lots of water, remember to eat. And never be afraid to reach out and share your emotions. Us guys aren't very good at that. This is the only place I've found that I can vent. Writing has helped me tremendously. ~~~ Scott

I am so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could give you a time horizon of when the fog starts to clear. What I can tell you is that everyone's experience and process is different, though it sounds like we have some similarities (Dana was just 52). I'm nearly eight months in to this journey, and while I returned to work and some "normality of life" after a few weeks, it wasn't until a couple months ago that I finally felt like my legs were solidly under me again. You're just beginning the walk through this dark valley, but it sounds like you have good support. I'm so glad to hear you spent time with her mother -- remember, she's going through a loss that, while different, is just as profound as yours.

You will start seeing light again before too long, but don't feel you have to rush it. Heal on your timeline, not anyone else's. I normally wait a bit to make recommendations, but I will go ahead and offer up what for me has been an invaluable resource. The book is "Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything" by Lucy Hone. She's a clinician and researcher that also writes from the personal experience of losing her daughter. Her book has been a solid companion for me as I keep moving forward.

I'll also echo Scott's comments... don't stuff the pain. Let yourself feel it. Express it. And get plenty of rest and drink water. Lots of water. Pardon the language, but grief is a relentless bitch. That said, we can and do learn to make peace with it as we keep living in a way that honors the memory of that part of ourselves that is gone. Please reach out anytime... this road is just a little bit easier when you know you're not on it alone. -- Stephen

Hello,
Your loss is so new and raw. We have all been there and felt this. It's not that it becomes easier but, like us, we eventually accept the loss. My 48 yr old hubbie died 20 months ago. i still cry but not everyday. Don't tough it out. Reach out to people who care about you. We do and we are all here. You are not alone.

Thanks so much to all who posted to me.
It is nice to know that we are not alone.
I'm still healing..but getting a little better .
I hope to go back to work soon.
I know I need to carry on..as hard as it is.

It still seems so much like a bad dream.
I will be looking forward to all your support on here.
Thank you for the kind messages
Bless you all.
Bob