Plan something for the day of so that it won`t hit you as hard. The anticipation is always worst than the actual day but planning something helps a lot.

As for me . . head in sand. Not always easy to ignore special anniversary dates and Holidays, as it seems to be normal triggers for the grief monster to step in for an unwanted in-law visit. :( A certain amount of discipline is in order for me . . as in I chose to not compare my life "today" with what other happy couples are doing, or even perhaps what I used to do. Reality has changed . . .

Just remember, it's simply another day on the calendar. You will get through it. Don't over think it or analyze it. If tears are necessary, then so be it . . they are healing tears. Be thankful for them, mine don't come often enough unfortunately.

Most importantly, take care of YOU. Do something special for you. Get a massage or go have your nails done. Take a long walk in nature. Go shopping? Whatever it is that makes you feel "alive" and a continued part of life. You are special and deserve to feel special. If no one else can . . you can!

Warm hugs and best wishes that better days are coming your way. xo, Dayna

Hey, be my Valentine! I'll be yours if you'll be mine!

If you want, go buy me something, I like everything.....seriously, I'm so darned easy to please. Write me a love note. Tell me how much I mean to you.

See you on Valentine's Day!

Roz

So far I've weathered birthdays (his, stepson's, stepdaughter's, motherinlaw's), Christmas, new year, stepson 's graduation, and some big events we always went to. Still to come are my birthday and our wedding anniversary (same day), Easter and the anniversary of the day he was killed. Each month the 25th makes me emotional (so Christmas was especially tough).
Some are harder than others but I have found it useful to sometimes "move" the day to the nearest weekend when I can be alone and just wallow. Often, like handg I have found the anticipation to be worse than the actual day.
Best wishes. Sandy

Thank you its much appreciated x

I am just ignoring V-Day - that was actually my wifes holiday to plan, so I am not used to having to do anything anyway. Next is her Birthday - and thne Mothers Day. My daughter already has tickets for her and my grandson to come see us. Grandson will keep my mind busy. Then my Birthday, parents are coming, then our 25th Wedding Anniversary - I have no idea what I will do for that day - pretty worried about it - kids have suggested a yard sale, as that is what Sherri and I had planned to do (long storry, but it was funny). But not sure I want to. Will cross that bridge when we get there.

Feb 11th, my husband died. 2 years ago on Valentines Day, I buried him....

I kept busy. Dinner out with a friend on his birthday, a celebration at my home on mine, dinner and a movie on our anniversary, just kept moving...
Sometimes the distraction helped, sometimes it didn't. Thankfully I was always with compassionate friends who packed lots of tissues in their purses!

Me gonna have a pitty party me and my tissues.......

I usually have a Valentine's party for all the grandchildren and great grandchildren, , then a family dinner BUT this I just can't. I thought I would do good with our 53rd anniversary on Friday Feb 6th BUT I didn't ..you would think being older you would just accept that dying is part of life. I am trying I just miss my big guy so much. being a caregiver for over 15 years, the last year totally doing just about everything for him. NOW comes his 75th birthday March 8th. which I was thinking ahead last year to a big 75th for him ..SO now I am planning a big Easter egg hunt/party for kids the day before Easter. Then the 1 year anniversary April 17th... I would say just plan to do want makes you feel right, if that's staying home, having someone over for a dinner or going out with family or friends . It's about you now... Hugs Carol

I lost my wife in jan 2015 valentines day tore me up and our 17th anniversary is today june20 wanted to go to grave but very hard they say that all the first is the hardest not looking forward to those days look up second first online very interesting and have been reading her book also she has been where we are .