Garry, I am so sorry you feel so empty. It is understandable that you sobbed the whole ride home. Your life is not the same and spending time with those who's lives haven't changed at times just drives the knife futher in. You should be so proud that you did at least go to your friends. Pat yourself on the back for that. Leaving our comfort zone can be so very hard. We all understand the immense pain you are feeling. How could this journey not be painful? Are you taking care of yourself? Eating right, getting enough sleep, drinking enough fluids etc.? I find when I am overly tired I am so much more emotional. Sometimes it does us good to just let those emotions out. Surpressing them just seems to build up my anxiety and then look out. You have come to the right place with all those further along in this grueling path. There advice has been a life saver for me. They truly "get it". Nothing could have ever prepared us for what we are going through and I know it takes time. I hate hearing that too, but it is so very true. Hugs and Love, Michele

Those early weeks and months are the very worst. Pain rips all though you. I'm not glad you are on this journey - none of us are, but I hope we can help. We're here to listen. And we do understand.
Blessings, my friend.

Sorry your going through such a hard time. Your not alone!

I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Unfortunately, we all know it doesn't work that way. Just know we all feel your pain and you are not alone. Hugs to you, Ruth

Oh, Garry, being around others who are doing normal things while we are feeling so lost and empty can be pure torture. I sobbed in my car many times at first, and still do sometimes. Our whole lives are so different now, and no one understands unless they've been through it. It's good that you're getting out, but it's also okay to have time to yourself. Whatever is best for YOU. We're all here for you, and we all feel your pain, believe me. Be sure and take Michele's advice and take care of yourself, even when you don't want to.

Warm hugs,
Linda

Garry. I know you have heard this a lot, but I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, and the time of year doesn't help either. There are no magic words, but at least here we are all among those who understand what you are going through, what you are feeling. We are all here for you, we understand, and please come as often as you need to. Hugs, Katrina

Sounds like my night last night,,,out with a few couples who commented how great I was holding up,,,they should only know I was blinded by tears on my way home..

To me seeing others who's lifes haven't changed is very hard, watching couples together can make me so, mad, and jealous. My husband was 43 its been a little over 4 months and some days are worse than others. I have just started making myself go a few places. Its hard and I usually end up not staying long or end up in the car crying and asking why.

I don't always like hearing it takes time, but know it will work out it has to. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier right now. This group has helped me more than I thought it would. I hope you being here that it does the same for you. We all know what it feels like to have the empty feeling and feel lost. I wish you a peaceful night.

Garry, that's one of those tough "firsts". Like some of the others, i have left and cried all the way home. I do think that each time we go through it, it gets a little easier. And it's nice of our friends to try to include us.

I know how you feel. My husband died of an overdose. I was helping my mom take care of my dad's arrangements in Chicago, Kennon died in Tomball texas. The last memory of him is me kissing him on the lips really fast upset that my dad died and I was catching a plane.He dropped me off and that was it. So I never saw him again. Ya hanging out with couples that are happy makes your insides raw with emotion. I don't think it will ever be easy. Until time passes by and heals the hole that's in our sole. Maybe in time we can love someone else. A long ways away for that. Hugs, Donna

Garry, driving and crying seem to fit. I do it all the time. It doesn't last as long as it used to and doesn't happen every day like it used to!

My promise to you.......The fog will lift, the sadness will not linger all day long, the tears won't be so heart wrenching and you'll start to remember some of the joy that brought the two of you together!

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling......and, I'm so sorry!

Now.......Close your eyes and find her smile.

Warmly,
Roz

am I the only one who finds remembering him to be more painful?

I was relieved that I found this website late on Friday of last week. It has now been 3 months / 3 weeks since my wife, Debbie, passed suddenly of a heart attack. In the first couple of weeks or so, family and " friends " were there for me but, almost without warning, virtually all of them became somewhat scarce. Now, any mention of my wife's death produces silence. Many seem to avoid me. I am not angry about it. I know they don't know what to do or what to say to make it better for me. Also, they have absolutely no idea of the massive amount of love I had and still have for my wife. They never knew how much our two lives were intertwined. They never knew or wouldn't have understood that I would have given my life for her. I loved her and still love her that much. I am 70 and she was only 53. Her greatest fear in recent years was of losing me and facing the world alone. That thought was also my greatest fear in recent years. I was not afraid of dying. I was only afraid of dying and leaving her alone to go through what I am going through now. Needless to say, I never saw it coming.

I still wake up in complete disbelief each morning as I open my eyes and roll over to tap her on the shoulder and feel nothing but the top of the comforter.

When we got together 31 years ago, we never thought about the age difference. We liked / loved the same food, music, movies, horses and just about everything else in life. She traveled with me to countries throughout the world as I pursued business activities and I introduced her to places and things she had never thought possible to experience.

We deliberately chose to get married on New Year's Eve as we cherished the thought of celebrating our anniversary and the arrival of the new year on the same day. I have been receiving packages of items I bought for her for Christmas back in June and July. It never occurred to me recently to cancel any of the orders. I just received a reminder today from a hotel about our booking for upcoming the New Year's weekend.

At this point, I feel trapped in some type of horrible nightmare that has no end. I read the postings of everyone in this site and I am truly thankful all of you are there. That assures me I am not losing my mind and lets me know others are going through this as well. Thank you. Darrell



We traveled together to countries throughout the world

She was Catholic and I
Christian of another denomination. was not. However, she married me in a Christian church
We deliberately go married




.