Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
On June 30 it will be 3 yrs since I became a widow. After my husband's death I was diagnosed with some medical issues, all of which are manageable, except one. I have ataxia which causes me to have balance and walking issues. I have to use a walker to walk outside and I can't drive anymore as it also effects the focus of my eyes. I feel as though I am an old person who has to rely on someone to take care of me. I don't mind you, as I am only 55, but I feel confined to my home. My kids and other family members are great on taking me places when I need to go but if I wanted to do something other then appointments and grocery shopping I feel as if I am imposing. I live in the country so there is no transportation I can use and our town is very small. I sit day after day thinking of things to do to occupy my time but that doesn't seem to satisfy my feelings as there is no one to share with. I like to cook but not just for myself. I only see one person on a daily basis, which is my brother, as he comes out to feed the horses. I just wish I had someone to talk to and help me learn to be the person I used to be. No one likes to talk about my husband except my children and I feel like they would like to talk about and do other things. If anyone has any ideas please pass them on to me as my anxiety is starting to get worse.
Some of the times were too horrible for words, because I had a serious medical issue. Very unhealthy, during the deepest of grief.
I felt like a big imposition. It was very tough finding out how few people were willing to "give me rides" ANYwhere. All I can say is, let go of the "No's". Don't think about it. Just Appreciate & thank those who are thoughtful enough to drive you places. They are Angels.
It is good that your brother comes daily to feed the horses.
I have never been a daytime tv watcher...but I sure learned how to! It's better than losing your mind.
I don't think I'd have survived those Long months if it had not been for the company of my dog...something alive and breathing to touch and feel comfort from. It sure felt pathetic, without having my husband here. but a girls gotta make-do-with whatever a girl's got.! It is good that I have been a dedicated dog lover all my life, and my dogs' Norm is being in here with me. Zero potty or destruction issues. She is very easy...even though I spoiled her a bit.
Take care.
Isn't it fun keeping an appt book for every little errand in life, from Grocery shopping, prescriptions, hair cuts, Drs, to-church-and-back, the veterinarian (not everyone wants dogs in their car), etc etc etc.? I never realized how much freedom I had until everything came down to By-Appointment-Only!
You ask what you can do. You can come here and talk about your husband. There is a lot of people here who care. Suddenly I am reminded of my grandpa. He began painting in oil after he retired. His early works not much to brag about but he got better with time and he found a guy who traveled around to festivals and sold other peoples art. My grandpa said he made more money in his retirement than he ever did at a formal job. He did not have to leave home. Maybe there is something you can make and sell?