Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Feeling lost

lost-in-the-world
lost-in-the-world

Its been 7 months since I lost my love of my life, Jim. I thought maybe it might get a little easier, but it is not. I feel so alone, I am not sleeping, feel like I am in a dream, a bad one, and I will wake up. With Christmas around the corner, and have been asked to have Christmas with my brother, but I said no, made up a excuse. I just not feeling I want to be there and have to be happy around them, when I am feeling heart broken. I have been going to a widowers group once a month, and it helps to talk to someone, even when it's only daily things. I feel I can cry and feel broken there without feeling judged or just having someone feeling sorry for me. I spend most of my time by myself, I know I should get out more but just don't like being with a lot of people. I miss him so much.

sarah26
sarah26
don't worry,that feeling is not only to you,I feel lost too because last month I lost my boyfriend very recent,you have to act okay in front of people but once your alone you feel empty and burst into tears just remembering the good times you had,just don't feel alone I know the pain and no one can really understand,sorry for what your going through but know your not alone hugs!
lost-in-the-world
lost-in-the-world
Thanks Sarah, I am sorry for your lose. ❤
Britta
Britta
Hi,
I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain you are in. I too lost my husband of 30 years 3 months ago. It was very sudden. I know how much you miss him and you are for sure not alone. I am no expert but I will say trying to be around people for me seems to help. Keeping myself distracted with work and my kids and house stuff seems to help. It's when I am alone that I just keep seeing it over and over and wishing I could change it. I understand your desire for solitude. But I am just going to say that if people want to help let them. Let them embrace you and care for you. A friend of mine brought to my attention how it was in the olden days. When you lost a loved one you mourned wearing black clothes or an armband for a solid year. That way everywhere you went people knew you were in mourning and you were treated gentler. Now in the times we live it's like oh it's been 3 months get over it! We will never get over it. But we will have to carry on. Not that we want to tell everyone we meet but the people who love you want to help you. Just something to think about. Take care and I am sending you a hug and hope that we both get through this. Thanks Jeanne
scottito
scottito
Well this is my wnd Christmas and my first alone. Not a thing wrong with that. Do what you are most comfortable with. Have the best Christmas you can that is in your comfort zone. Me, I just didn't want the drama and found it best to hang with me, myself and I....and now my puppy Blue (short for Blue Jean Baby Queen). God bless and comfort you ~~~ Scottie
Marie44
Marie44
I know how you feel. It's been 10 months for me and sleeping has been a MAJOR problem for me. I took a mild sleeping pill every night for the first 5 months. I still need it 2 or 3 times a week even now. As far as Christmas goes, you have the right to skip it this year if that's how your feeling. I didn't send out any cards this year and I have no decorations up. I will be spending it with my grown children and grandkids but I'm not looking forward to it.
lost-in-the-world
lost-in-the-world
Thanks everyone, makes me feel I am not alone, ❤
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