Yes, I feel the same. 16 months ago, our husband, father, best friend died. I was numb afterwards. I went to grief counseling. I read books about grief. I joined a bible group last winter to try and understand why God took him from us. I handled all the horrid, messy, never-ending paper work that comes after losing a spouse. I thought I was doing okay.....sort of okay.
But lately, every little thing I see, hear, or find reminds me of him. I cannot go shopping without seeing something I used to buy for him. I hear a song. I see a book he'd like. Something comes in the mail addressed to him. And....I lose it. I lose it Big Time. Keeps getting bigger, too. I don't know why....after 16 months.
I am only hoping with the passage of time....more time....and me doing some volunteering outside the home (grade school nearby) and some other things....that I can handle this better.
Hang on, dear friend. I know we can do this!

iksonak

To answer your question. Definitely!. Especially when I seem to really be making progress, a grief waves hits. Over time the grief waves get further apart and less intense. Wishing you peace. Gerald

Thirteen months was a rough time for me. It was at 17 months that the intense pain seemed to lift. I am now at 21 months and things are still OK. I think I am becoming stressed a little again because this is the time of year we received my husband's prognosis of 2 months and his rapid decline in health began. I will be glad when this is no longer an "annual event" and my psyche has recovered enough to not have to relive everything!

You have the right mind set--baby steps, take it one day, one hour at a time. It WILL get better.

Yes I have had many moments where I felt I was regressing and I am at the two year mark. All natural with this journey we are on.
I always tell myself "and this too shall pass" give in to the tears and know that tomorrow will be a better day
hugs

Sometimes, "tomorrow is NOT a better day!" Sometimes the longing and yearning for your love to just hold you one-more-time or kiss you one-more-time or wait for you outside to picked-up, to go to dinner together, one-more-time is so overwhelming that you can't help but well-up with sadness and tears.

It's 16 months for me and the loss of the love of my life hurts so much.

Why, why, I can't fathom the whole thing.....I can't wrap my head around it!

Please come back!!!!!

I just past 17 months and the last two months I seem to miss her even more than I did earlier. I think it's all normal as we try to move forward in our lives there will be set backs and difficult periods. This period has me confused about my life but I suspect that's also normal as this is all new for us.
Take care,
Russ

Yes, I did. Actually, and not to scare you, my second year was harder than the first. I don't go backward anymore, but the ache will always remain in my heart.

Jerseydebbie is right - for some people. Some of my friends feel that the second year is harder. But for me, it was the first. That was more painful than anything I could imagine. The second year, though missing him lots and lots, felt a bit easier.

But to address your question about sliding back - yeah, 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Seems to be that way for quite a while.
Hugs.

Oh, yeah. There were times I felt like I was going in reverse at the speed of light. But in reality, it's all part of feeling the emotions that we feel. Don't judge this as progress nor regression. It just is what it is. Hugs, Marsha

Welcome to the Widow's Waltz - 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 1 step forward, 2 steps back... You are actually moving forward, it doesn't feel like it, but every day is a victory, a tiny triumph.

Each year has its challenges. The 'firsts' are tough emotionally. The second year is tough socially I think - the rest of the world wants to act like nothing ever happened and we are still grappling with our new unwanted reality. The thirds can be full of surprises - some good, some bad. And on it goes. Every year I have mourned something different and learned a different lesson in the process.

The biggest lesson I have learned over the passage of time has been that it was worth it to never give up - I would have missed so much. Hang in there - you will be all right, don't give up.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Hadn't heard of the Widows Waltz...........so true.....too true. Colleen

The answer is a big fat YES! I just hit the 12 week mark last Thursday and since then I feel worse since the beginning. Can't seem to snap out of it. Not looking forward to Labor Day weekend. Always was our big weekend doing stuff every day. Maybe next week will be better. Here's hoping.

Oh definately ups and downs ..I've been in a slump lately and it happened shortly after the one year mark. It's eased a bit, but I know it will return. The first months are shock and I felt like I was on speed trying to get all the paperwork done and trying to stay busy and socially connected to keep from really losing it. Then the busyness slows down, the paperwork is finished, life returns to normal for your family and friends, his name is mentioned less by others and you've done new things and have made decisions totally on your own and you have tried to be somewhat comfortable with being alone. You no longer ask why it happened, you just know it did. You no longer go over and over the things you could have, should have done different, because you know you can't change any of it now. But now you begin to ask "what now?" The unknown, while in truth it could be an opportunity, it feels like loneliness and emptiness. It's like we've stepped on a train with a one way ticket...destination unknown.

Thank you all SWEETHEARTS for the encouragement! It is so comforting being among you!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.