Im so sorry for what you are having to go through. People dont understand. Family or not. When i finally did break down and cry after my husbad passed, my mother was here at my house. Instead of balling in front of my kids and mom, i went outside an sat down. She came outside an had the nerve to tell me maybe i shouldbt look at pics or videos if it made ne feel like that an then went on to tell me she knws exactly how i feel and she feels all alone all the time too. (She hasnt lost anyone) didnt even let me talk. Just turned the conversation of losing my husband into what she doesnt have. If you feel content sitting in your room, being by yourself over a ton of people sometimes, or doing anything really to help you cope... Do it. Do just what helps you feel better at the time you're feeling it. Havent figured this site out yet, but im here if you ever need an ear. I lost my husband 6 months ago and the mess people try an tell me about "it gets better" or " youll be ok" an all that isnt true. Someone couldnt possibly get over the fact of losing their other half. Not someone they vowed to spend the rest of their life with. I do however want to tell you that i hope you have brighter days in your near future. Hugs to you.
-Stephanie

One of the things we often realize is death changes our address book. I don't think others who can't understand the depth of our loss are not intended to be uncaring. They are uncomfortable with our sadness and can't deal with the reality of what happened. I know I went through the same thing with my husband's death. You're not alone. We understand. Sharon

That's for sure. My address book is very different now..its getting smaller every day with the old and soon i am going to get the new done too.

Shelda, Grieving is a necessary passage and difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow, it is not a permanent rest stop....Dodinsky...
I'm almost at 18 months since Dennis passed, I never thought I would get to a good place, but I have because..I no longer feel guilty if I laugh or enjoy a good meal, or spend money on our kids, because he isn't here...He always used to say when I was upset or having a bad day..Gail get over it, this too shall pass better days are coming..And he was a wise man and he was right about this...
I think what I miss most is the Us...and just the simple everyday things, coffee in the morning talking about what we had coming up for the day..going shopping he loved Costco's..and going out to lunch..and going camping and fishing..we both love the outdoors..and spending time with our kids and grand kids..
I think life is mostly about choices, we can chose to live in our grief until it's is our time to transition,
or we can get out live and experience the life we have left...Dennis always said, he never wanted us to go around Boo-Whooing over him...He didn't want a service and was cremated..We had a celebration of his life over is favorite meal, Prime Rib, with family and friends..we laughed and we cried..but mostly we smiled because he lived...
I find I have to get up in the morning, make my bed, get dressed,have my coffee and get moving..Talk to my kids and grand kids...not everyday..because the have jobs and families of their own...but I know their there if I need them..
Take care Shelda, peace and hugs..Gail..

I found that most people do not have a clue what the grief over a spouse is. They are uncomfortable seeing the grief in our eyes and they are uncomfortable hearing about it. So they make "suggestions" meant to help us "get over it". If someone has not been on this journey they think all we have to do is get busy and we wont hurt anymore. How wrong they are. Doesn't matter if we are in our room or busy running a company, we hurt. So to all those wonderful people who care but have no clue...God bless you and I hope you have a wonderful group like this one when its your turn to wear the widow shroud.