It's difficult enough to deal with our grief. I love my husband so much. He was my world, when his buddies see me to share their grief it feels crushing on top of my own.
No easy button for this, but ultimately it's good to know how much my guy was loved.
God bless, Trici

I understand how you feel, and when things start to fall apart or we have to face new problems we have not faced alone before it becomes very overwhelming.

Yesterday I met an old neighbor in a local store. He really didn't know what to say to me, but he was very upset to hear about my wife passing. From that point on I went further down into a depression, to the point of crying in public whilst walking home, something I have often felt like doing but never did until yesterday, I could not hold back anymore.

Hugs to you, the best we can do is to hold on and try to make it through each day.

I understand.....That's the way I feel. Everything is falling apart. Not that he ever did anything around here. But at least he knew who to call.

It's particularly disconcerting when things start happening to the home and one has that helpless feeling. It freaks me out with even a minor problem as I've no funds to fix anything. I haven't heard of this problem with a septic - hmmm, could be a sinkhole developing as something is just disconnected and there is some seepage. If the septic is working otherwise hopefully something minor and you get it easily resolved.

This week I noticed some drips from the bottom of the on-demand water heater. I was all upset, thought something was cracked. Called a friend, and he unscrewed the cover to check for leaks anywhere - nothing. We came to the conclusion it was just condensation. Another example of that helpless, vulnerable feeling. In the past when there was any issue whatsoever there was a resolution to it all - and his name was Bill.

I know exactly what you are all going thru, one thing after another. You know, I think those we call to help us need the blessing of giving. We are always the ones giving, hard to receive or not know what to do. I talked to a friend who lost her husband several years ago, she said she goes to the grave and asks him how he could have done this to her, left her alone. She is a great comfort to me. A great book helping me is "Travel Guide to Heaven". God bless.

I know how ya feel. My house seems to be falling apart. My husband was sick for so long we just kinda let things go, he couldn't do anything about it and we were concentrating on his health.

So now I'm having to deal with things on my own. I'm lucky I have a few men around here that have been able to do a lot for me. I just get tired of having to ask.

It will get better and you'll figure out a system and who you can call for what.

Diane

I had this experience too, with small things and large. It certainly makes us feel more vulnerable. I relied on my SIL in the beginning, but the longer it went on the worse I felt.
One day I couldn't hold my emotions any longer and told him how sorry I was for always "bothering" him. He explained that he was glad to do those things that my husband used to do. It made me feel better. Sharon

I was happy with the crew that came to fix the septic. They even re-planted my roses after they dug the area. The same day, my car windshield got hit by something on the way home from work and now it had to be replaced. One thing after another, just so stressful, I guess that's the life we have now. On the up side, I felt I have grown as an individual and are more capable that I thought I could be. Thank you everyone for your response.

Well from what I have just read it does seem like we are definitely not alone on this one. The week Ernie was slipping away, my neighbor pointed out a problem with my roof in the backyard. Then I received a call from Afghanistan that my sons Battalion had been hit by an IED and he had a concussion. Then if that wasn't enough our main computer crashed and it is hooked into the printer and I haven't a clue what to do about that. Then on Friday I lost my husband. So yes I completely understand the feelings of falling apart and everything around you doing so also. God bless and I do hope and pray that we all find some peace in at least knowing we are not alone. At least we have DS!!!
Best wishes Everyone,
Mary

Praying for your family, is your son ok? Thank him for his service.

Yes, I am sorry that I didn't say that my Son is doing well, they lost a few in the bombing and he was able to return to work within a few days. Thank you for your kind wishes I will send them along to him.
Sincerely,
Mary

I have also had house problems. I have well water so one week I kept hearing the pump run in the middle of the night when no one was using water. Had to call a plumber and it was one of my outside faucets leaking. He tightened it, went under the house to make sure I had no other leaks and put insulation near each outdoor faucet because he said he could see daylight. Then my computer crashed and it took 2 weeks to get it back. Then on Thanksgiving my waste basket under my kitchen sink was filled with water from a leaky seal under my sink. My oldest daughter fixed that for me with some plumbers caulking. I used to think my husband was a worrier and now I know why he was. There is a lot of upkeep and worries to owning a home, especially when on a limited income and he, when he was well, could fix any and all things. We never had to call a repairman for anything. Shiloah

So unfair; but I guess life throws each of us the good bad and the ugly. WHY ??? so much ugly when we are at our lowest point. I guess as others have said. we are stronger than we realize. knowing that we have the support of each other helps me more than I can ever thank all of you enough. God Bless. chipstears

In the early stages of my grief I found any repair and activity my wife used to do and I did now so painful and overwhelming. But over time I was forced to teach myself new skills and it became empowering. I will tell you a funny story. I never cleaned the inside of our oven(my wife always did that). I spent hours cleaning it(hadnt been done in over a year). All I could think was my wife is probably laughing out loud because I never appreciated the work involved in doing it and I could feel her cheering me on. Doing that activity was a small step in the healing process for me. I am so sorry for your sadness and pain. Sending you a big hug. Gerald

Silverfox, these things can get to you. The missing of the little things done by our spouse. Magically the interruptions in daily life were taken care of. A couple weeks ago, we had a lot of rain flooded the basement, but I put on my rubber polkadot boots and cleaned drain cover. John used to do that making sure the holes were clear, well in 19 months, they weren't.
Gerald is right the doing on our own thought it kicks up the feeling of loss, empowers us.

Breath deep and relax a bit. This is one of those waves. Keep us as "waterwings" handy. Oh if you can, buy stock in kleenex!
Gentle hugs.
Jewells.