Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This is a bad time of year for many of us, regardless of the length of time we have been widowed. Well-wishes by others don't mean much when your partner is gone. They can't understand, so I fake a smile and move on.
My widowed friend sent me the following. She participates in some other sites, and receives some real eye opening sayings. So, here goes:
I am responsible for ...
I am responsible for myself.
I am responsible for leading or not living my life.
I am responsible for tending to my spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial well-being.
I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs.
I am responsible for solving my problems or learning to live with those I cannot solve.
I am responsible for my choices.
I am responsible for what I give and receive.
I am responsible for setting and achieving my goals.
I am responsible for how much I enjoy life.
I am responsible for how much pleasure I find in daily activities.
I am responsible for whom I love and how I choose to express this love.
I am responsible for what I do to others and for what I allow others to do to me.
I am responsible for my wants and desires.
All of me, every aspect of my being, is important. I count for something. I matter. My feelings can be trusted. My thinking is appropriate. I value my wants and needs. I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment. I have rights, and it is my responsibility to assert these rights. The decisions I make and the way I conduct myself will reflect my high self-esteem. My decisions will take into account my responsibilities to myself.
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I have the above on my dresser mirror. When my mind starts to get carried away, I take the time to read this. It renews a basis of strength.
Everyone, celebrate the holidays the way you feel is suitable for you. Me? I loathe them, but I go out to enjoy time with my family, for we don't know who, if anyone, wil not be here next Christmas.
My widowed friend sent me the following. She participates in some other sites, and receives some real eye opening sayings. So, here goes:
I am responsible for ...
I am responsible for myself.
I am responsible for leading or not living my life.
I am responsible for tending to my spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial well-being.
I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs.
I am responsible for solving my problems or learning to live with those I cannot solve.
I am responsible for my choices.
I am responsible for what I give and receive.
I am responsible for setting and achieving my goals.
I am responsible for how much I enjoy life.
I am responsible for how much pleasure I find in daily activities.
I am responsible for whom I love and how I choose to express this love.
I am responsible for what I do to others and for what I allow others to do to me.
I am responsible for my wants and desires.
All of me, every aspect of my being, is important. I count for something. I matter. My feelings can be trusted. My thinking is appropriate. I value my wants and needs. I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment. I have rights, and it is my responsibility to assert these rights. The decisions I make and the way I conduct myself will reflect my high self-esteem. My decisions will take into account my responsibilities to myself.
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I have the above on my dresser mirror. When my mind starts to get carried away, I take the time to read this. It renews a basis of strength.
Everyone, celebrate the holidays the way you feel is suitable for you. Me? I loathe them, but I go out to enjoy time with my family, for we don't know who, if anyone, wil not be here next Christmas.
Bernard
Bernard
Thank you, honey, for just being you, for just being here when we all need your wisdom and support, and thank you most of all for making me feel valid again.
Marilyn
A note to the Newbies, I thought about you all when I posted this and know that you are no where near a position to find comfort in these words. No one expects you too. It has been over 3 years for me, and I too struggle for self-encouragement when all I want is my old life back. The comfort I do find is that I am his wife, as it is the only thing I want to be. And, he will come for me when it is my turn. In the meantime, I must live for the family, my husband, and the precious pet I adopted.
It isn't easy, but we have to.