Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It has been a little over 2 1/2 years since Nick died. I thought I was going to die from the all consuming pain that engulfed me every moment of every day & night. I truly wanted to die and was angry that I hadn't. I am sure those of you who are just starting out on this horrid path of loss, grief & pain understand this all too well. I felt life was always going to hurt with every breath I took.
I am dedicating this entry to those of you who are still in the early stages of loss. Please do not give up! The journey is long and devastating. It takes a lot longer than society or the books on grief usually tells you about. In a year or even two the pain can still be horrid. However, it really does ease up. It truly does. The pain becomes manageable and slowly you start to rebuild your life. Be patient with yourself. And, never never give up.
Today I sat outside on the deck drinking coffee in the sunshine watching my four cats play. I realized that I was feeling contentment and actually enjoying the sun and the autumn smell of the leaves. I used to cry every time I looked at the deck as Nick & I spent so much time there together. Today was peaceful and enjoyable.
Early on when I read things like this I thought, "Fine for you. But, I will never feel any form of happiness ever again." For quite a while this was true. Even at the 2nd year mark I was still hurting pretty badly. Somewhere along the line things have slowly stopped hurting as bad and now I actually can look forward to a few things.
So please, no matter how badly you hurt, hang in there. Reach out to your friends, call them, visit them, whatever it takes to get you from one minute to the next. Writing in a journal helped a lot. Keeping a list of things I had accomplished each day helped. Writing down three good things about the day each evening helped. (Sometimes the good thing was just that I was still breathing or that the weather was nice,) I wrote to Nick. I wrote to God. I attended a grief support group because it gave me someplace to go one night a week. I saw a grief counselor and also talked with my medical doctor. I learned to call my friends for emotional support and help
The main thing is be patient & kind to yourself. Don't give up. In time life truly is much less painful.
Many hugs and warm wishes to each of you. May time heal your heart & soul.
I am dedicating this entry to those of you who are still in the early stages of loss. Please do not give up! The journey is long and devastating. It takes a lot longer than society or the books on grief usually tells you about. In a year or even two the pain can still be horrid. However, it really does ease up. It truly does. The pain becomes manageable and slowly you start to rebuild your life. Be patient with yourself. And, never never give up.
Today I sat outside on the deck drinking coffee in the sunshine watching my four cats play. I realized that I was feeling contentment and actually enjoying the sun and the autumn smell of the leaves. I used to cry every time I looked at the deck as Nick & I spent so much time there together. Today was peaceful and enjoyable.
Early on when I read things like this I thought, "Fine for you. But, I will never feel any form of happiness ever again." For quite a while this was true. Even at the 2nd year mark I was still hurting pretty badly. Somewhere along the line things have slowly stopped hurting as bad and now I actually can look forward to a few things.
So please, no matter how badly you hurt, hang in there. Reach out to your friends, call them, visit them, whatever it takes to get you from one minute to the next. Writing in a journal helped a lot. Keeping a list of things I had accomplished each day helped. Writing down three good things about the day each evening helped. (Sometimes the good thing was just that I was still breathing or that the weather was nice,) I wrote to Nick. I wrote to God. I attended a grief support group because it gave me someplace to go one night a week. I saw a grief counselor and also talked with my medical doctor. I learned to call my friends for emotional support and help
The main thing is be patient & kind to yourself. Don't give up. In time life truly is much less painful.
Many hugs and warm wishes to each of you. May time heal your heart & soul.
I still feel like it was a minute ago, he was here. It is an 18 month minute. I am better though with this amount of time, so much was by the way of DS. The understanding and guidance given by those such as you.
I don't cry everyday, but allow myself to, when I need to. Need to..that is the factor...holding it in can only hurt me further.
Chi Megwetch.
Jewells
Connie
Thank you so much.