Tamlee, your story is identical to mine!!! Almost exactly word for word!! Only my husband was Bob and we were married almost 41 years! And Bob died of AML leukemia. I am trusting God to get me thru all of this. Bob also was a man of God. So I have peace that he is with the Lord. The greiving process is a hard journey indeed! But there is joy in the midst of great sorrow if we cling to and trust our Lord. My prayers are for you dear one. You are not alone, God is always with you!!
Loves....Karla

Thank you Karla. I have felt so lost the last 4 months but I have the hope that things will get better in time. As I read others stories I felt like they were "me". Its so hard for anyone who still has their husband or wife to understand what we are going through. Your story does sound like mine! My husband was Lee. Its so hard to say "was" because in my heart he always will be. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. Love and prayers, Tammy

Tamlee

Like you, Larry & I were married 38yrs (however we didn't have any children) .. I lost him May 2014, but seems just like yesterday. He also went through 3 different cancers until his poor immune system finally gave out. Of course I'm thankful that he is not in any more pain, but I miss him every moment of every day. You don't get over it, you just manage the loss . Your emotions will very from day to day. I say just cry when you need too.

C.S. Lewis wrote the following.

Grief and pain are the price we humans have to pay for the love
and total commitment we have for another person.
The more we love, the more we are hurt when we lose the object
of our love, But if we are honest with ourselves,
Would we have it any other way.....

Take Care

Tamlee, welcome to this support group. You will find by reading other's posts that we are all going through the trial of our life. (JoAnne, that is a powerful CS Lewis quote - thank you for that one.) You are not going crazy. You have had the biggest shock of your life, and for you, it has been going on and on and on for 2 years. You will make it through this, just hang on with everything you got. I'm only 3 months into it, and only now feel I'm starting to come out of the fog (a little bit). Day by day, sometime minute by minute, but when you read from the "old timers", it does get better. Me, I am able to draw great strength from my grandchildren (ages 3, 6 and 11). My Juani's only hesitation to go be with Jesus was that she so wanted to watch her grandchildren grow up. Well, I believe she is doing that now, only with a much better view. But my strength comes in carrying on what she so wanted to stay and finish - so now Grandpa's job is to do all he can to help those little grandkids become great grand people. We must draw strength from wherever we can. Me, I would be down and out but for my Jesus.
Scott

Dear, I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife of 27 years, only 3.5 months after her diagnosis. She was 54. You asked how to get over this? Well, the pain of losing a loved one is often so deep we probably never really get over with it. But over time, we can get alonge with it. At 6.5 months, I start to realize that she is still part of me and probably never leaves me....I now think a little more like her and am doing things that she wanted me to do before but I sometimes refused...like trying to keep the house clean and feed the cat on time. The point is that your spouse never really leaves you. Over time, you will incorporate him or her in your life, and you don't want any other way, not because this makes you feel good but because you love him...and love never dies. Hugs, tiger

Tamlee we share the same story I met Jeanne at 17 we were married 38 years and she lost her battle to lung cancer 6 months ago. We had a strong faith and I know like you that our loved one is now with the Lord and watching over us. this is a long journey we are all on and it will be different for each of us. But using this forum to share with others on the same journey helps us express our feelings and also help others with their healing. God Bless

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your husband fought to stay with you as long as he could. After 7 months i too feel like my husband is going to walk in the door with a smile on his face and start telling me about his day. It really does not seem possible that they are not going to do that. Hugs - Patti

I met my husband in high school and became friends, then dating, marriage and our life together. I was 16 and we married after graduation and celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary just a few months before he was diagnosed. I had no idea how or what to do. Spent most of my time crying and wishing I could wake from this nightmare. I would write him letters with my AM coffee just to release some of the tension. I still have those letters now and it's been 8 years. I am sorry that you have to join us, but hopefully it will be a source of strength and support as it has been for me. Sharon

Tamlee, I am so very sorry for your loss! I am not quite at 4 months yet and they have been rough to say the least. The waves wash over me, and sometimes just come crashing down. I don't think we ever "get over" losing the love of our lives. I am searching for a way to get "through" it. Grief is exhausting and my energy is sapped. And yes at times I think I am going crazy too. But the reassurance of the people on this site is amazing. They get it. This is part of the journey. I hope we all have better days ahead. Hugs and Love to you, Michele

My heart goes out to you Tamlee... It's almost 4 months for me and it's so very hard. May the Lord comfort you. Hugs and love, Kim

Im so sorry for your loss, I also met my husband in high school and were married young, had kids and lived life. Struggles, love and learning and I miss it all so much. I didn't take nearly enough time to live life instead we were trying to make a living. So much unspoken not enough time with the man I love so much. Hugs to you